Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome

     President Obama is going to attend a fundraiser tonight in New York City sponsored by gay activists.

The timing couldn't be more, well, timely. The Empire State's Assembly is trying to get the votes needed to legalize same-sex marriage.

Obama has not exactly been a proponent of such an amendment.

But being the smooth talker that he is, the prez will dance around the issue until he finds common ground.

And his speech will be eloquent. But he might want to avoid comments and jokes like these things not to say while speaking at a fundraiser put on by gay supporters:

1. "The ambience here is fabulous!"

2. "Some of my best friends work in Hollywood."

3. "Keep this a secret, but I actually switched channels during the NBA Championship to see who was winning Tony Awards."

4. "I'm learning the names of the shoes Michelle wears."

5. "I'm a big fan of 'Glee.' "

6. "I'm starting to like parades."

7. "I actually got through listening to one side of a Liza Minnelli album. Contrary to what some people have warned me, I didn't have a seizure nor did my ears start to bleed."

8. "I've agreed to host a Gay Pride Week event. I'm just hoping it won't have anything to do with Rudy Giuliani in drag. That's one butt-ugly man-lady."

9. "We got rid of the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Just a suggestion: When in combat, it won't be necessary to decorate the foxholes."

10. "As for gay marriage. Go for it. We'll make same-sex marriage law. But there's going to be a compromise. We're going to ban same-sex divorce."