The Artful Codger

      An appropriate headline for the front page of 80-year-old Rupert Murdoch’s tabloid rag the New York Post. It describes how he was permitted to dance around the truth from members of Parliament, who all had two left feet.
    Murdoch told members of Parliament in London on Tuesday that this was “the most humble day of my life.”
    This following the most humiliating day of his life when his empire had to survive without the purchase of British Sky Broadcasting, or BSkyB. This created a minor setback to his goose-stepping march to literally control the news of the world.
    It should come as no surprise that nothing was uncovered in the News Corp. phone-hacking scandal that rocked the United Kingdom. Hell, Rupert and his son James weren’t even sworn in under oath, which signaled that they weren’t under any pressure not to lie.
    What good is an inquiry without the possibility of perjury?
    The not-so grand jury in Parliament was more inquisitive than they were part of an inquisition. Meanwhile, the Murdochs left former News Corp. International CEO Rebekah Brooks twisting in the wind.
     The day after Murdoch’s testimony —- what he said or didn’t need to say, how he dodged questions and especially how he didn’t take any responsibility for anything —- the news out of the whole enchalada was the guy with the shaving cream pie, and how quickly Mrs. Rupert reacted to protect her doddering Methuselah cash-cow.
     Wonder Woman Wendi Deng Murdoch literally leaped to her hubby’s defense and slapped at the pie guy. By the way, the prankster is a British comic who goes by the name Johnny Marbles, which is appropriate here because Rupert lost his marbles decades ago.
     It’s been a good week for Asian women to show off their athletic prowess. First there was the Women’s Soccer Team from Japan defeating the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team for the World Cup.
     On Tuesday, it was Rupert’s Kung Fu cutie of Chinese descent flying through the air with the greatest of ease, slapping her left hand at the man who would humiliate her old coot.
     The most obvious headline to come out of this incident was of course “Humble Pie.”
     Here are some other suggestive screaming headlines that would not be out of bounds for Murdoch’s tabloid rag:
           “Hold that Tiger Mom”
           “Broad Jump”
           “Asian Flew”
           “Slap Shot”
      Here are some Post-like suggested headlines concerning how the made-for-TV “inquiry” transpired:
          “Hacker Cracker”
          “Babbling Brooks”
          “News Corpse”
          “Pie in the BSkyB”