The Responses

       Now there’s been a poll taken about everything.
   The question put before 928 Americans concerned God’s job approval rating.
   All in all, the poll, conducted by the Democratic research firm Public Policy Polling, found that 52 percent surveyed approved of God’s overall job performance.
    A meesly 9 percent disapproved.
   Those 9 percent are obviously Obama supporters and are going to hell anyway.
   At least the Big Guy’s approval rating is higher than that of Congress, which is a lowly 33 percent.
   Wonder how many would’ve responded if they were asked would God have evoked the 14th Amendment in that debt-ceiling debacle, which, when all was said and done, accomplished nada because Standard & Poor’s downgraded the country’ sterling AAA credit rating to AA+ —- for the first time in the nation’s history.
   House Speaker John Boehner gloated on CBS last week that he was happy about the debt-ceiling outcome because “I got 98% of what I wanted.” That sentence alone should come back to haunt him, much like John McCain’s birdbrain statement during the 2008 presidential campain that “the fundamentals of the economy are still strong.”
   Be careful what you gloat over, Boehner pill. Remember pride is one of the 7 deadly sins.
   Speaking of sins, back to the God poll.
   Here are some of the things the poll found out about the Almighty that did not get reported:
       1. 28 percent think God is too Republican.
       2. 31 percent believe God will send his son back to earth in their lifetime.  Another 30 percent think Jesus will come back, review the situation, say something like “What were you people thinking?” and go back home in a chariot of fire.
       3. 43 percent polled think God picks on poor people too much. Another 46 percent say he doesn’t pick on them enough.
       4. 81 percent of men believe God is a man, because who else would have created beer, football and breast implants. 
Meanwhile, 2 percent of men believe God is a woman and she reminds them of their Aunt Tessie and that’s why they occasionally dress up like her.
       5. 33 percent of women believe God is a man, but only if he listens.
     Americans polled about God’s job approval rating weren’t the only ones called on to give a response.
     Lest we forget GOP Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who hosted a Prayer-a-Palooza called The Response on Saturday at Reliant Stadium in Houston.
     Preacher Perry got 30,000 people in the seats in Lone Star State heat and spoke through God to them.
     “We feel that God moved on him to do this. It will be read by the enemy, the political enemy, as a tool to win votes,” said one woman, who plans to vote for Perry if he runs for president.
     And just who might that political enemy be, Missy?
     Could it be Barack O’Beelzebub?
     Does Rick Perry have a prayer getting the Republican nomination let alone get elected president?
     Pray that he doesn’t even announce that he’s running.
     This guy is dangerous. A charismatic evangelist with bad hair (why do they always have bad hair?) who believes those who don’t follow his right wing-nut rhetoric are turning their backs on God.
     Matthew 7:15 “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.”
       Things overheard in  the crowd during Perry’s Prayer-a-Thon:
       1. “What’s the likelihood we can get one of them tasty Satan sammiches at this here event?”
       2. “Yes, Jesus is here. That’s him over there throwing up.”
       3. “If the skies darken and the clouds part and it starts lightnin’ I’m outta here faster than a pick-up truck running over an armadillo full speed!”
       4. “I see the ticket as Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann in 2012. Their slogan can be Perry and Scary.”
       5. “How fast before he’s exposed as a hyocrite?”

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One Response to The Responses

  1. Daily Tips says:

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