They Ames to please

        The Republican Party straw vote will be held in Ames, Iowa, on Saturday.
    Maybe one of the several GOP hopefuls for the 2012 presidential nomination can use this one-liner during their 30-second soundbite: “It’s appropriate that this is straw because the Obama presidency is the last straw.”
    Or maybe GOP frontrunner Mitt Romney can boast “I had to deal with straw as a businessman in the private sector and as governor of Massachusetts. I know how to fix straw. I know how to put straw to work for America.”
    And Tim Pawlenty can say he knows straw the best of all the candidates because his chances of getting people to vote for him is the equivalent to grasping for straws.
    Of course any one of these knuckleheads could get the nomination and even beat President Obama if he continues to not lead and convince Americans that his time in office has been a “Where’s Waldo?” presidency.
    The Iowa Straw poll is not specifically a sure-fire indicator as to who will win the nomination.
    Maybe that’s why Princess Photo-Op Palin didn’t man-up and put her name in contention. But that isn’t stopping Mama Grizzly from showing up in town on her “Look it’s Me!” bus tour.
    And it was announced Thursday  that Texas Gov. Rick “I feel the need to secede” Perry will officially enter the GOP “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” presidential race on Saturday.
    Like Palin, Tricky Ricky is not officially entered in the Iowa Straw vote/poll, but he could get write-in votes. He usually places second or third among the GOP field when the party releases its own poll results.
    Meanwhile, former GOP presidential candidate and Fox News TV personality Mike Huckabee will bring his All-American band to Iowa and serenade at the big tents of each candidate.
    Mikey fronts the band and he wants to sing mostly Buddy Holly songs.
    No doubt when they get to the Pawlenty tent the song title that will fit his chances will be “That’ll Be The Day.”
    Huckabee will need to dig into the repertoire of other famous singers or groups in order to fit their songs to specific candidates.
    Here’s a list he could consider:

     For Mitt Romney, it’s definitely Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now.” Or maybe the Boss’s “Born to Run.” Since he’s the frontrunner, here’s a third choice, the Platters’ “The Great Pretender”

     For Newt Gingrich there’s always Aerosmith’s “Same Old Song and Dance.”

     For Michele Bachmann, it could very well be Barry McGuire’s “Eve of Destruction.”

     For Ron Paul, it’s Zeppelin’s “Ramble On.”

     For Rick Santorum, let’s hear it for Jackson Browne’s “Running on Empty.”

    For an encore, Mikey’s band can sing sarcastic versions of these songs for President Obama:
             Billy Joel’s “The Stranger”
             B.B. King’s “The Thrill is Gone”
             Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”
             The Who’s “Won’t Get Fooled Again”
             AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell”

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One Response to They Ames to please

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