The Washington Monument is tilting

         The East Coast is still standing after that 5.8-magnitude earthquake on Tuesday. By all accounts, the citizenry in the affected areas, from the epicenter in Virginia, to D.C., to New York City and Detroit, was calm.
      The same cannot be said for the cable news media, which treated the quake like it was the second coming of 9-11, being this close to the anniversary and all.
      In fact, Fox News and MSNBC news anchors and reporters in New York City and Washington, D.C., said the first thing they thought when the earth started to shake was ‘it’s another terrorist attack.’ They probably think that when a car backfires on the street.
      Talk about your paranoia.
      The terrorists don’t need to attack the U.S. again. They did their job scaring America for years to come —- at least the “journalists” in New York and D.C.
      The media was too quick to report on disasters resulting from the shaky situation.
      One of Fox News’ bubble-headed bleach-blondes said “there’s a report the Washington Monument is tilting.” Naturally, 20 minutes later copy-cat MSNBC regurgitated that misinformation.
      Of course, Californians shrugged this one off with our usual “deal with it” attitude.
      Fox News couldn’t blame this one on President Obama, not that one of their headlines wouldn’t say: “Obama golfs while earthquake threatens to devastate East Coast.”
      And Fox’s GOP presidential candidates could barf up drool like this:
      Michele Bachmann screeching: “Where was our president  when the earthquake hit the East Coast? He was golfing on Martha’s Vineyard, people. He said he didn’t even feel it. That says a lot about Barack Obama. He doesn’t feel anything. Am I right, people? Are you feeling it?”
      From frontrunner Mitt Romney: ” I know how to feel the effects of an earthquake. I’ve felt earthquakes in the private sector and as governor of Massachusetts —- well, when I was vacationing at my $12 million mansion in California. As president, I’ll know how to put the feeling of feeling the effects of an earthquake to work for America. I can do this.”
      And from Texas Gov. Rick “I feel the need to secede” Perry: “Earthquakes are treasonous. They wouldn’t dare show up in Texas because we’d get ugly on them. This one hit Washington, D.C., looking for the inconsequential president, who may not love this country you’ll have to ask him, and whose plan to get Americans back to work is a Ponzi scheme. He wasn’t home. As usual, he was out to lunch. In Texas, we eat earthquakes for lunch.”
        Now Hurricane Irene is threatening to batter the East Coast, including Martha’s Vineyard, where President Obama is enjoying some time off while Americans lose their homes and stand in lines a mile long at job fairs.
        Bet on snarky Princess Photo-Op Palin to pop up on her safe haven cubby hole on Fox News to smirk something like, “It’s gonna take a hurricane to get Obama off vacation. Even an earthquake couldn’t budge him.”
      One wonders if an earthquake in Washington, D.C., could budge any of those slather butts to work together.
      Maybe it’s a hint of Old Testament wrath of God warning that it’s time for politicians to create a era of civility.
      Come on, evangelists, all y’all are always looking for a sign.
      Politicians wouldn’t get the hint even if the Washington Monument had lifted off skyward like it was launched from Cape Canaveral.
      Democrats would bark that it was about time to invest in infrastructure because historic buildings need makeovers.
      Republicans would blame Obama, saying the monument suddenly going skyward was living proof that he was succeeding at hijacking the country.
      The media would step over each other in order to be the first to mis-inform the public that it was a terrorist plot. And then spend the bulk of their network’s newsday yakkity-yakking with each other as to what they were doing when the Washington Monument went skyward. Without tilting. 

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One Response to The Washington Monument is tilting

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