The Book of Cheney

      Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but an earthquake and then a hurricane hit the East Coast prior to the release of former Vice President Dick Cheney’s book on Tuesday.
      Just in case it wasn’t a coincidence, the East Coast should prepare for The Rapture.
      Cheney’s book “In My Time” is already causing an avalanche of criticism — and that’s just from people who worked in the Bush administration with him.
      The former VP trashes Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, who both served as Secretary of State under President George W. Bush.
      Powell reacted by saying Cheney took “cheap shots” and that the former VP “overshot the runway.”
      Rice has had a pretty tough week personally. First it was discovered that Moammar Khaddafi had a scrapbook full of photos of her. If that wasn’t creepy enough, then came Cheney’s book.
      For her part, Rice has yet to comment on either situation. She’s displaying her usual class and dignity —- two qualities Cheney would likely find as weaknesses.
      Cheney will be hogging the spotlight this week with his controversial comments that will certainly help sell books.
      Rejected titles for Dick Cheney’s book about his years as vice president:
      1. “The Snear of Living Dangerously”
      2. “I Was a Middle Age War Criminal with a Bad Ticker”
      3. “WaterboardingWorld”
      4. “I’m with Stupid”
      5. (rejected subtitle) “Memoirs of a Messianic Meglomaniac from an Undisclosed Location”

         And of course, Cheney could always use a song.
         So here are lyrics to the song “The Cheney is a Putz” —- which should be sung to the tune “The Lady is a Tramp” made famous by one Francis Albert Sinatra:


    “He went berserko grande after we were attacked.
         He made the historical blunder of invading Iraq.
         If waterboarding wasn’t available, he’d use the rack.
         That’s why the Cheney is a putz.


         “He wrote a book saying “heads will explode.”
         His mechanical heart could at anytime implode.
         Thinks George W. Bush is a cracker horny toad.
         That’s why the Cheney is a putz.


         “Double-cross him and you’ll get shot in the face —-
         evidence will be misplaced.
         That’s slick —- but that’s Dick.


         “Hates diversity…. ethnics never make the cuts.
         That’s why this Cheney
         That’s why this Cheney
         That’s why the Cheney is a putz.”

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