“Libertyville”

          Anger is the new civility.
      At the Tea Party Express-sponsored Republican presidential debate on Monday, one key moment surfaced to give some credence to this theory.
      Candidate Ron Paul, who opposes President Obama’s health care plan, was asked should a 30-year-old with a pre-existing condition then be left to die? When Paul answered “Yes,” the audience exploded with applause. Some shouted “Let him die!”
      Whoa! Ease up on that venom-flavored Kool-Aid, tea-baggers.
      A similar moment happened at the previous GOP debate when the audience hooped and hollered after Gov. Rick “I feel the need to secede” Perry got all Texas bragadocious over the fact his state executed 200 people during his time in office.
      Wild West Ricky.
      Judge Roy Bean-brain.
      For a Republican to win the presidency in 2012, anger has to be ratched up even more than it is now. If you can fathom that.
      Mitt Romney has got to get mad. He’s got to get mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.
      Mild-mannered Mitt, angry?
      One can just hear him flip-flop at the next GOP debate:
      “I know angry. I’ve dealt with anger as governor of Massachusetts and in the private sector. In fact, in business I put anger management to work. Not managing anger, but putting angry people in management positions. I can do anger.”
      Mitt is going to have to saddle up. Wild West Ricky is setting the tone of the GOP campaign so far.
      He’s gonna lasso the presidency from that varmint President Tin horn, dad-gum-it.
      The eight Republican presidential candidates certainly are quite the cast of characters. In fact, they could all be featured in a new Western movie.
      Let’s call it “Libertyville.”
            1. Rick Perry has got to be the sheriff. But he’s not Gary Cooper in “High Noon,” who was too sensitive, and was married to a Quaker, for gosh sakes. He’s more like a cross between Robert Mitchum’s religious zealot preacher Harry Powell in “The Night of the Hunter” and Joe Pesci’s Tommy DeVito in “GoodFellas.”
            2. Mitt Romney is the Wild West  land baron —- the banker who has his eye on the governor’s mansion, even though it pales in comparison to the Ponderosa spread he owns.
            3. Michele Bachmann is the spunky Annie Oakley type who can shoot ‘em up better ‘n’ most of the hombres. But she’s got her feminine wiles, too. And one day a week she puts on her Sunday-go-to-meetin’ clothes and helps the townfolk “pray away the horseplay.”
            4. Ron Paul is the ornery country doctor with gout and a bad prostate but who refuses to seek treatment from the Tin Horn’s health care plan, even though he’s got the pre-existing conditions.
            5. Hermain Cain is the town’s blacksmith, who has grander ambitions like knowing how best to dress up steaks at Delmonico’s —- even though he’s not allowed to eat in the dining room.
            6. Rick Santorum is the town’s undertaker. Because he’s gloomy-looking like an undertaker. Besides, his candidacy is about a foot shy of being six feet under.
            7. Jon Huntsman is the dandy gambler who keeps getting dealt a losing hand because he got redemption and is now too honest to lie, cheat or steal. He still has an ace up his sleeve, but nobody’s amused by his card tricks this year.
            8. Newt Gingrich is the old barkeep who pours on the sarcasm with every shot of whiskey he fills in a glass. He’s there mostly for the comedy relief because no one takes him seriously anymore.
    See how the GOP will win the West in 2012 in “Libertyville.” The movie that wanted to use a title that was already taken.
    You might have seen it on Turner Classic Movies. It was called “Town Without Pity.”