Just desserts

         This one takes the cake.
   A conservative values organization called the American Family Association is coming out against ice cream.
   Well, the name of one specific flavor of ice cream being test-marketed by Ben & Jerry’s.
   Conservatives against any flavor of ice cream, regardless of the name, is contrary to their deity Ronald Reagan, who once issued a presidential decree called Ice Cream Day in America.
   It kind of went by without much fanfare. Reagan did cut a radio address that was never aired. It went something like this: “Well, it’s finally here. Ice Cream Day in America. Mommy and I hope you enjoy the tasty treat. We only ask that you don’t mix the flavors. Try and separate the vanilla and chocolate.”
   OK, that’s not true. If it was, it would be absurd. Just like the American Family Association’s boycott.
   The name of the ice cream is “Schweddy Balls” —- a take-off on a famous skit with Alec Baldwin on “Saturday Night Live,”  which had his character talking to women on National Public Radio about a food he created. Of course, there was a lot more to it than that, however subtle.
  More recently, a female version of that skit had Betty White discussing “Cherry Muffins” with the NPR ladies. That skit, too, was done, uh, tastefully.
  Of course, Ben and Jerry would never consider using “Cherry Muffin” as a flavor, based on the innuendo from the skit, because the National Organization for Women would unleash its wrath, which is financed by the liberal news media, of course.
  The American Family Association has got to get with the program: Anything negative, sexist or condescending concerning the male of the species is not only acceptable on free TV, but encouraged. Check out 90 percent of the juvenile TV commercials.
  Rejected names for Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavors:
     
      1. Baracky Road                             
      2. Snooki Dough
      3. DinglePerry
      4. Matt Drudge Fudge
      5. Melon Degeneres
      6. “Heck of a job, Brownie” (Google the quote if you don’t know)
      7. Malt Disney
      8. Mary Tyler S’mores
      9. Mint Romney
      10. Sherbert Hoover