Dinner with The Donald
The meeting of bombast and bad hair meshed Wednesday night in New York City when Republican presidential hopeful Texas Gov. Rick "I feel the need to secede" Perry was wined and dined by buffoon tycoon Donald Trump.
Perry appeared extra excited speaking to the Big Apple media. After all, he was in New York City, home of the Ponzi scheme.
The two dined at a fancy pants pricey restaurant overlookin' Central Park.
Apparently the conversation was about the presidency, but no doubt it eventually had to be overtaken by money talk.
The dinner chit-chat was not recorded, so we can only imagine how part of it went. Maybe something like this:
Perry: Donald, or should I call you The Donald? I sure do getta kick outta your show on the tube.
Trump: Of course you do. And now more than ever we have to fire this "Apprentice" for a president that's destroying our country. But first, let's order. What looks good to you?
Perry: I'm gonna have me one of them thar New York steaks.
Waitress: How would you like your steak done, sir?
Perry: Rare. Blood rare. No, wait, just bring it to me raw. Since I'm succeedin' at throwing my fan base raw meat, I may as well find out what it tastes like.
Trump: You know what's good here? Truffles.
Perry: Naw. I'm not a potato chip guy. Even the ones with ridges.
Trump: Alright, then. Let's talk about our hair.
Perry: Our hair?
Trump: Hair is an important asset in a presidential candidate. Jack Kennedy, great hair. Michael Dukakis, not so much.
Perry: Where's my hair rank?
Trump: I was getting to that. Forgive my bluntness, but I am The Donald. Your hair .... if Moe Howard and Elton John had a child, it would be your hair.
Perry: That bad, huh? Well, I dye it like Reagan did.
Trump: Reagan had OK hair if we were still in the 1940s and you were making a movie opposite Joan Crawford. Now take my hair....
Perry: No offense, but it would look silly on me. If I went back to Texas with that thing on your head on my head, they'd execute me.
Trump: Like me, my hair is one of a kind. It has a personality all its own.
Perry: From what I hear, it takes on a life of its own, too. Palin told me she thought it was gonna attack her at any moment. Said she almost took a restraining order out on it.
Trump: Let's change the subject, shall we. Let's talk about the one thing we care most about.
Perry: Money?
Trump: No, the have-nots who are out of work and going to lose their homes. Of course we're going to talk money.
Perry: How much are you worth? There's rich and then there's Texas rich.
Trump: Money is comfortable in a stetson tapping oil wells as it is in a tux at the opening of a Broadway show you personally got financed. There are no boundaries to money. Money travels well. Money backs the winner. But money will dispose of him if someone more worthy of keeping money with money comes along.
Perry: I'm that man. I've got more cronies with stashes of cash than a redhead with freckles.
Trump: And you have religion. Religion brings in the money to a candidate.
Perry: God only knows how true that is, partner. The faithful never stop believing that they can buy their way into heaven. They always latch on to a go-between to sweaten the deal. I don't know if they're more easily disappointed or easier to persuade.
Trump: Either way, money's got it covered. Charisma and church equals cash.
Perry; You make it sound so easy.
Trump: It's very simple if when you get money working for you. So now you could tell the media we talked jobs.
Perry: Tough talk. Almost as tough as this dang steak I ordered.
Trump: Here, try a truffle....
Perry appeared extra excited speaking to the Big Apple media. After all, he was in New York City, home of the Ponzi scheme.
The two dined at a fancy pants pricey restaurant overlookin' Central Park.
Apparently the conversation was about the presidency, but no doubt it eventually had to be overtaken by money talk.
The dinner chit-chat was not recorded, so we can only imagine how part of it went. Maybe something like this:
Perry: Donald, or should I call you The Donald? I sure do getta kick outta your show on the tube.
Trump: Of course you do. And now more than ever we have to fire this "Apprentice" for a president that's destroying our country. But first, let's order. What looks good to you?
Perry: I'm gonna have me one of them thar New York steaks.
Waitress: How would you like your steak done, sir?
Perry: Rare. Blood rare. No, wait, just bring it to me raw. Since I'm succeedin' at throwing my fan base raw meat, I may as well find out what it tastes like.
Trump: You know what's good here? Truffles.
Perry: Naw. I'm not a potato chip guy. Even the ones with ridges.
Trump: Alright, then. Let's talk about our hair.
Perry: Our hair?
Trump: Hair is an important asset in a presidential candidate. Jack Kennedy, great hair. Michael Dukakis, not so much.
Perry: Where's my hair rank?
Trump: I was getting to that. Forgive my bluntness, but I am The Donald. Your hair .... if Moe Howard and Elton John had a child, it would be your hair.
Perry: That bad, huh? Well, I dye it like Reagan did.
Trump: Reagan had OK hair if we were still in the 1940s and you were making a movie opposite Joan Crawford. Now take my hair....
Perry: No offense, but it would look silly on me. If I went back to Texas with that thing on your head on my head, they'd execute me.
Trump: Like me, my hair is one of a kind. It has a personality all its own.
Perry: From what I hear, it takes on a life of its own, too. Palin told me she thought it was gonna attack her at any moment. Said she almost took a restraining order out on it.
Trump: Let's change the subject, shall we. Let's talk about the one thing we care most about.
Perry: Money?
Trump: No, the have-nots who are out of work and going to lose their homes. Of course we're going to talk money.
Perry: How much are you worth? There's rich and then there's Texas rich.
Trump: Money is comfortable in a stetson tapping oil wells as it is in a tux at the opening of a Broadway show you personally got financed. There are no boundaries to money. Money travels well. Money backs the winner. But money will dispose of him if someone more worthy of keeping money with money comes along.
Perry: I'm that man. I've got more cronies with stashes of cash than a redhead with freckles.
Trump: And you have religion. Religion brings in the money to a candidate.
Perry: God only knows how true that is, partner. The faithful never stop believing that they can buy their way into heaven. They always latch on to a go-between to sweaten the deal. I don't know if they're more easily disappointed or easier to persuade.
Trump: Either way, money's got it covered. Charisma and church equals cash.
Perry; You make it sound so easy.
Trump: It's very simple if when you get money working for you. So now you could tell the media we talked jobs.
Perry: Tough talk. Almost as tough as this dang steak I ordered.
Trump: Here, try a truffle....
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