Sports and recreation

      ESPN was ready to air some football Monday night, but not Hank Williams Jr.’s signature theme musical intro “Are you ready for some football?”
   The sports network sacked the opening theme for at least one night because of what Hank said earlier in the day on “Fox and Friends,” where he compared President Obama to Adolf Hitler.
   Now, you might be saying to yourself, no big deal, that’s one of the questions they ask a celeb or politician in order for them to get on a Fox News program: Will you be willing to compare Obama to the worst mass murder in the history of the world?
   Hank was not only willing to step up to the plate, he was prepared to hit it out of the park. Or in football parlance, he was ready to take to the field and throw for 400 yards and three touchdowns.
   He got to the point by way of talking sports. The conversation somehow turned to Obama playing golf with House Speaker John Boehner. That’s when Hank flatulated, “It would be like Hitler playing golf with (Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin) Netanyahu.”
   Hank capped off that pearl of wisdom with calling the president and VP Joe Biden “the enemy.”
   Of course this whole incident was absurd, Hank comparing the president to Hitler.
   Why, that would be like comparing Hank Williams Jr. to anyone with musical talent.
     If football, golf or Hitler are not your game-day decisions, maybe you’d like to take the family camping at a ranch on property you were renting. That’s what GOP presidential hopeful Texas Gov. Rick “I feel the need to secede” Perry did.
   Never mind that the name of the ranch was called “(N-word) Head” —- only the n-word was spelled out.
   Wonder what the brochure is like:
   You’ll enjoy your stay here. It has all the amenities of home, including a personal laundromat in each cabin to keep those white sheets smelling fresh and clean.
   And you’ll be happy to know that whenever construction breaks down, no matter how big or small, it’s replaced with everything brand spankin’ new. That’s right, at Camp N-word, they’ve never heard of reconstruction.
   For the kiddies there’s the 40-acres and a mule course, where the little ones who are a little on the slow side when it comes to learnin’ can ride on donkeys until they can graduate to horses.
   For the ladies who like to keep things discreet, oh, hell, who want to keep a secret from their hubbies, there’s the Mandingo Spa. Take advantage of it while the bread-winner of the family is checking out the other stud fees on the racetrack, or out skeet shootin’ or killin’ animals with guns he and his buddies are totin.’
   And every single personal living space on the ranch has its own name. You have your pick, except for the one where Rick Perry stays. That would be the goober-natorial suite, or as it’s better known on the range: Uncle Tom’s Cabin.
   So come visit Rancho Strom Thurmond.
   Just remember not to bring a lot of baggage with you.