The great white nope

       Another shooting star in the galaxy that is the Republican Party presidential field for 2012 has dimmed the hopes of many wealthy campaign contributors.
   New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie made it official on Tuesday: he will not run for the GOP presidential nomination next year.
   Christie announced his decision not to run at a press conference that lasted 45 minutes. In that time frame, we learned more about Chris Christie than expected. For one thing, he loves the camera (the feeling may not be mutual) and he came off as a ham. And no ham is safe around him.
   The Jersey boar.
   Cable news pundits took from the press conference that Christie was auditioning for the vice presidential candidate spot on the ticket. Really, does this guy need to audition? When he enters a room (sideways) everyone knows who he is. And that’s only because he takes up so much of the oxygen that the rest of the people have difficulty breathing.
   Anyway, the current great white hope said nope to running for president. Let’s hope he also says nope if he’s asked to go on “Dancin’ with the Stars.”
   Chris Christie let his hair down (thankfully, he takes the cliche tighten you belts seriously) at the press conference.
   But there are still some things about the guy that you may want to know. So take this test on the real governor of New Jersey. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers.
        1. True or false: The words on the Christie Family Crest read: “Are you going to finish that?”
        2. Chris Christie’s favorite song is:
            a. “American Pie”
            b. “Fat-bottomed girls”
            c. “On the good ship Lollipop”
            d. anything by Meatloaf
        3. Chris Christie’s favorite movie is:
            a. “With Six You Get Eggroll”
            b.  “Pork Chop Hill”
            c. “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner”
            d. “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”
        4. True or false: Christie is going to put out an album covering songs by Metallica and title it “Chris Christie: He puts the ‘heavy’ in heavy metal.
        5. Now that he’s free from not having to run for president, Chris Christie can now
            a. Fulfill a long-time desire to change his name to Chris Crispy Creme
            b. Become an honorary gorilla juicehead on ‘The Jersy Shore.’
            c. As soon as he hits the two-year mark in office, he’s going to quit, join Fox News as an annoying “Wall Street protesters are Nazis” kind of commentator, and then make millions of dollars on speaking tours.
            d. Pose for the ‘Sexiest Politicians Alive’ calendar as Mr. January, and February, and March, and April….

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