The 99ers

     The 99ers occupying Wall Street are being vilified by Fox News, conservative Republicans, right wing-nuts and the overlord of them all, America’s Bully, Rush Limbaugh.
      So you know the 99ers must be doing something right. Or at least exercising their rights.
      The attack by the right should come as no surprise, the 99ers are a movement that they and the megalomaniacs of major corporations did not create, control or fund. Like the tea party.
      So they unleash their sleazy surrogates to convince their fan base that the 99ers be denied their freedom of speech and freedom to assembly. Why? Because the 99ers are anti-America, comrades.
      GOP presidential hopeful Herman “I’d like a pizza with everything on it to go” Cain actually said if people don’t have a job or aren’t rich it’s their own damn fault. Guess compassionate conservative was a fluke with George W. Bush.
      Then there’s the right wing-nuts’ Eva Braun, Ann Coulter, who compared the 99ers to Nazis. Ann, Ann. The 99ers are trying to occupy Wall Street. Not Poland.
      Now there’s some evidence that the right wing-nuts are trying to provoke violence —- lying that the protesters were going to smash storefront windows, or loot the Food King like the Deltas did in “Animal House.”
      But this is a non-violent protest, much to the dismay of Fox and friends. Defenders of the fat cats fear that the movement will crystalize. Crowds even yelled “Fox News lies!” at Fox News stooge Geraldo Rivera. It’s all gone downhill since “Al Capone’s Vault” hasn’t it, Gerald?
      If the radical righties don’t succeed at inciting violence brought on by hired goons, they always have what they do best up their sleeve: they’ll change public opinion through persistent propaganda. Like good little fearmongering fascists.
      Sure, the 99ers bark at big corporations, but one major money-maker has thrown them its support. Ice cream magnates Ben and Jerry. Sweet. Maybe they’ll name an ice cream flavor after the 99ers. Anyone for a scoop of “Occu-pie Walnut Street?”
      Every major protest needs a song. So here, sung to the “Theme from The Monkees,” is  the “Theme to the 99ers”:
        “Here we come, marching down Wall Street
        join us in person or by cellphone or tweet.
        Hey, hey, we’re the 99ers
        we’re the jobless and the over-taxed.
        The media calls us whiners
        but we’re gonna take our country back.
        “We’re just trying to get fat cats
        to stop controlling what’s said and done.
        It’s time for the middle-class to rise up
        and stop the top one percent’s run.”


                “The rich don’t create jobs
        they just line their pockets with gold.
        Hollywood’s waiting for us to sell out.
        But we won’t be under-sold.”


       Things overheard in the crowd during the Occupy Wall Street:
       1. “Is this the line for that fightin’ robots movie?”
       2. “I’m only here ‘cos I heard it was the best place to pick up disgruntled chicks.”
       3. “Let’s get together and give Michael Moore a sonic wedgie.”
       4. “Man, the unemployment line keeps getting longer and longer….”
       5. “I think the Fox News crew is at the wrong protest rally. They keep trying to give us the ‘Obama is Hitler’ sign.”

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