The GOP cult

      New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie endorsed Mitt Romney to be the Republican Party’s presidential nominee in 2012. The two appeared at a press conference on Tuesday.
   The Romney camp wasn’t concerned that Christie would overshadow their candidate because Christie overshadows everybody when he appears in public.
   No truth to the rumor that the gov. endorsed Romney because Mitt is the only candidate who could afford to pick up a Chris Christie dinner tab.
   Christie talked about Americans getting their piece of the pie. He said Mitt would make sure everybody got a slice of pie. American pie. Christie mentioned pie a lot. If anybody knows pie, it’s Chris Christie.
   The two skated over the Mormon issue. You know, that Mormonism is not a religion, but a cult. If you believe Rick Perry’s pastor.
    Mormonism is not a cult.
   The Republican Party is a cult.
   They worship Ronald Reagan.
   And the apostles of The Gipper are devout.
   When GOP presidential candidates enter the Ronald Reagan Library they genuflect.
   When they speak of him it’s in terms as if he should be on Mount Rushmore.
   What, and share a shrine with three other presidents?
   Thy shall have no others gods before him.
   Saint Ronald of America. An American history lesson of a man. Why, there was even a Reagan Revolution.
   Sure, he wasn’t a Mormon. But he had two wives.  Though not at the same time. But he did get divorced. That was because he toiled in Hollywood before he found his true calling. Playing second banana to a chimp wasn’t going to be his legacy. No, his legacy was to destroy every progressive idea America had in his lifetime. Medicare. Social Security. Civil rights.
   Reagan never said that God told him to run for president. He didn’t have to. Who needs God when there’s central casting?
   Reagan even took it upon himself to create an 11th commandment. OK, it was for Republicans. Something about not saying anything bad about another Republican.
   The apostles go throughout the land spreading his “government is the problem” epistle.
   And there’s not a Judas in the bunch.
   Michele Bachmann would like to be Mary Magdelene, but her hubby has dibs on that role.
   The problem with the GOP field now, as it has been since He left office, is that voters are looking for the next Ronald Reagan.
   The candidates know there could never be another.
   So voters are always stuck with picking the best disciple.
   It’s a poor substitute.
   Not one of them this time around looks like they could even handle playing second banana to a chimp in a remake of “Bedtime for Bonzo.”

 
  

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