The school of the politically correct

      A Massachusetts school principal wants to outlaw certain holidays she doesn’t think school children should celebrate.
     Halloween, of course, is right up there. Maybe because of the macabre images associated with it.
     Besides, kids dress weird enough anyway the rest of the year.
     Or maybe she’s concerned about tooth decay and child obesity from all that candy.
     More likely it’s because it’s too much fun.
     Halloween may be the only “holiday” where school kids can’t pick on one another because they’re all on the same page trying to out-weird each other.
     But Principal Buzz-Kill didn’t stop at Halloween.
     She said Columbus Day should also be verboten. Why? Because of the atrocities associated with history’s most famous explorer.
     And while she was at it, she also slammed Thanksgiving, for pretty much the same reason: Atrocities associated with the pilgrims.
     Or maybe because the leftover turkey sandwiches the kids bring to school makes them sleepy from all that tryptophan.
     What this is all about, of course, is guilt.
     Some educators don’t only teach what’s part of the curriculum, they sometimes insert their own politically correct opinions into those young minds.
     We never needed educators to brainwash us with guilt when we were schoolkids. That’s what mothers were for.
     Let’s not stop at outlawing these school day favorites. We ought to take a look at others.
     Like Valentine’s Day.
     Yes, Valentine’s Day. Or when you just use it as initials, it’s V.D.
     Now here’s a day that needs to be re-evaluated. It promotes gender bias at an early age. It hooks girls on believing they need to be liked by boys and expect to get candy and hearts and wooed and by doing so return the favor with a kiss.
     And we all know what kisses lead to.
     Teach them before they grow up to become women and when they do get flowers, it’s a sure sign it’s because their man is cheating on them.
     Besides, Valentine’s Day can be very cruel when you’re a kid. Especially if you’re obese.
     But the big holiday we might as well outlaw kids from celebrating is Christmas.
     And it’s not because it’s Jesus’ birthday.
     It’s because of Santa Claus.
     He’s always jolly (the antithesis of guilt) and he likes to have little kids sit on his lap while getting them to say what they want for Christmas.
     Santa promises they will get the gifts they want as long as he can bounce them up and down on his knee.
     They don’t always get the gifts they ask of this scary old white dude. 
     And they’re lied to by believing he’ll stop by their houses and bring them the gifts while they’re in the land of nod.
     Santa is a lyin’ stinkin’ pedophile.
     And he needs to be out of the reach of little children. Like cigarettes, liquor and rap music.
     Never forget that the letters juxtaposed in Santa spells …. Satan.
     They don’t teach you that in school.
     No wonder conservative groups target the education system.
     In the school of the politically correct, those who can’t do teach guilt.
     They don’t always allow prayer in school, but, dammit, they’ll make sure you study the sins of the father.

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