Herman Cain and the other NRA

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       So you want to be the frontrunner in the Republican presidential candidate sweeps.
    Herman Cain is finding out what media scrutiny is all about. On Monday, the dam burst and charges of sexual harassment came gushing out.
    Twenty years ago when Cain was the CEO of the National Restaurant Association (the other NRA) two women accused him of inappropriate behavior.
    Reportedly a five-figure settlement was reached with one of the women.
    On Monday, Cain faced the old "what did he know and when did he know it" media grilling. Cain denied the charges and proclaimed he was a victim of a witch hunt.
    Of course, the Republicans had a witch hunt in 2010  and found Christine "I'm not a witch, I'm you" O'Donnell to run for senator from Delaware.
    At first Cain said he didn't know about the charges, and he was the head of the other NRA.
    That won't cut it with the media, and he will be judged over the airwaves because he didn't get out front of the story.
   Of course, Fox News immediately went into defense mode, since one of their GOP presidential candidates was in deep doo-doo.
    Just in time for Halloween, she-devil Ann Coulter compared Cain's woes to that of Justice Clarence Thomas 20 years ago, when he was a Supreme Court nominee and Anita Hill charged him with sexual harassment. Coulter even used Thomas' "this is a high-tech lynching" defense of himself to defend Cain.
    Will Cain be able to weather this storm of controversy?
    Will his supporters and campaign staffers start to turn on him and mount a Cain mutiny?
    We should find out before the week is out. This story isn't going away anytime soon. It's just another news sideshow distraction to avoid the fact that no political party is doing squat about turning the economy around and creating jobs.
    But Cain is about to find out what he's been asking of us: doesn't America have a sense of humor? The campaign ad with his campaign manager smoking a cigarette was not supposed to be taken seriously, Cain said. It was a joke. So that means his campaign is a joke. 
    He won't get away with joking about sexual harassment. Leave that to others.
    It's a [media cliche alert] slippery slope when talking to the opposite sex about anything anymore without sexual innuendo rearing its ugly head.
    The political correctness police often take the sensitivity law into their own hands.
    Maybe Cain was just being the charismatic entrepreneur. Then again, maybe he was just a lasivious lout.
    Could be the media will uncover Herman's dirty deeds done dirt cheap while head of the other NRA. Like:
    1. His 9-9-9 plan back in 1991 wasn't the exact number he proposed, although a 9 was part of the total number.
    2. Under Herman, the menu offered by the National Restaurant Association never offered pork ---- the other white meat.
    3. The fanciest restaurant's main exotic entree was always langue. Some women weren't aware of what that French delicacy was, so when they asked Herman, he'd say "How about some tongue?"
    4. Only foot-long hot dogs were offered, and they always came with two baked potatoes.
    5. Whenever women ordered the rump roast, waiters would say "That's hot."
    Face it Ladies, it says it all in his first name: Her-man.
    And as political-speak suggests, everything is on the table.

1 Comments

Clavell Jackson said:

Hilarious.

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John Bruno is a copy editor for the Los Angeles News Group. Send e-mail to John at john.bruno@inlandnewspapers.com.

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This page contains a single entry by John Bruno published on October 31, 2011 10:09 PM.

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