No debating Boehner’s birthday

    Republican presidential hopeful Texas Gov. Rick “Oops” Perry said he wants to debate former House Speaker “Princess Nancy” Pelosi.
   If that would ever happen it would have to be broadcast on Comedy Central with Jon Stewart as moderator.
   The main event could be billed as “The Princess and the Pea-brain.”
   Or “Perry vs. Scary.”
   Maybe even “Bonehead vs. Botox.”
   An usual request, since Pelosi is not running for president and is the Minority Leader in the House.
   Pundits on MSNBC said “Oops” is making the challenge because it’s the only way he can get back into the swing of things with the tea baggers, who can’t get enough of attacking Pelosi or President Obama.
   Speaking of the president, Perry maintains that Obama’s “the smartest man in the room policies” have destroyed America.
   No one could ever accuse “Oops” of being the smartest man in any room. Not even if George W. Bush was in the same room trying to exit through a locked door.
   Perry is the male equivalent of Sarah Palin. The GOP should draft Palin for the top slot and have Perry as her running mate with their campaign slogan “Keep America Stupid.”
   The GOP should do this right away, before Christmas, because the jokes about these two are the gifts that keep on giving.
   Does anybody take Perry seriously anymore? Can you name three reasons why they should? “Oops” could probably try to list three reasons why and then suffer a brain freeze coming up with the third.
   Perry is like Kevin Kline’s character Otto in the comedy “A Fish Called Wanda” who, after any plan or idea was presented, asked “What was the middle part again?”
   There’s no debating that Thursday was House Speaker John Boehner’s birthday.
   The Weeper of the House is 62.
   Things that went down on Boehner’s birthday:
   1. Everyone at Fox News wore something orange to match Boehner’s facial hue and took several smoke breaks outside the building.
   2. Michele Bachmann’s husband jumped out of the birthday cake.
   3. Once again this year the Nancy Pelosi pinada was the favorite party favor and was filled with packs of Marlboros.
   4. After having too much punch, Eric Cantor was talked into being waterboarded by Dick Cheney.
   5. Paramedics were on hand when Boehner tried to find enough wind to blow out 62 candles.
   6. Boehner was not picked as Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine, but he was named Smokiest Man Alive.
   7. Boehner began to cry uncontrollably when he heard Demi and Ashton were getting divorced. He cheered up later when he found out that Ashton will be replaced by Charlie Sheen.
   8. President Obama didn’t give him a gift, but promised that he’d cave to whatever it is Boehner wants next.
   9. Newt Gingrich showed up and wanted to be paid $1.6 million for talking about the history of the Speakers of the House and the Transcontinental Railroad.
   10. Luckily Ann Coulter was in attendance because the party ran out of ice.

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