From the GOP presidential candidate who brought us ‘the founding fathers knew about this when they signed the Declaration of Independence in the 16th century’ comes this doozie.
Texas Gov. Rick “Oops” Perry spoke to an audience in New Hampshire on Tuesday. When addressing the young people in the crowd, he told them if they’re eligible to vote when they turn 21 he would appreciate their support. He further oopsed when he said he’d appreciate their vote next Nov. 12.
First, every red-blooded American knows you’re eligible to vote when you’re 18. Further, election day 2012 is Nov. 6, not Nov. 12.
Is this guy even relevant anymore? It’s not that he’s not ready for prime time (as cable news networks like to say.) He’s not ready for middle school.
This guy doesn’t have a grasp on history, he has a gaffe on history.
Perry isn’t the successor to George W. Bush as Texas governor. He’s W.’s clone.
Like the identical twin cousins on the old “Patty Duke Show.” That show had a theme song, redone here:
“Here’s Ricky who flubs most everywhere
while on the stump and debates on air.
W.’s been through it before
from dodging shoes to walking into a closed door
what a whacky pair.
And they’re clones, boot-wearin’ clones
and you’ll find.
They gaffe alike
They laugh alike
The same side of each half alike
what could possibly be on their mind.
These clones are one of a kind.”
Other things Perry could oops over:
1. His robust storytelling about the unsung hero of the Civil War: General Electric.
2. He still can’t be convinced that America never had a woman president. What about Mildred Fillmore?
3. He thinks a philanderer is what a citizen is called who lives in the country of Philland.
4. Perry says Obama is such a militant his favorite husband and wife lounge lizard singing duo of years past is Steve and Idi Amin Dada.
5. Perry thinks the definition of detente is what football players who score touchdowns do to show up the players they beat for the score (and then get penalized): dey taunt.