Send in the clowns

   Newt Gingrich, the self-proclaimed GOP frontrunner for the presidential nomination and alternative to Christ, who isn’t running this year, has finally taken his candidacy seriously: He’s meeting with Donald Trump next week.
   Trump is set to moderate a GOP debate on Dec. 27, where maybe he’ll tell them they’re all fired. Because, just who is auditioning for who?
   Speaking of The Donald, GOP presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann said the Buffoon Tycoon is on her short list as her VP choice. And she wonders why her own party isn’t taking her candidacy seriously.
   But America, if Bachmann and Trump are elected, she would make good her promise to close that U.S. embassy in Iran. You know, the one that hasn’t been there since the hostage crisis in 1979.
   Sidebar: On the campaign stump this past week, Bachmann told a potential supporter that straight women can marry gay men. Hmmm…. does she have any evidence to prove that can work?
   Meanwhile, Mitt Romney came across snarky, consdescending and extremely thin-skinned during an interview with Fox News last week. The Mittster thought he was in a safe haven on Fox, but he ran into a bad news Baier —– Bret Baier to be exact. He called Plastic Man out for his pathelogical flip-flopping on everything from global warming to health care to pro-choice to gay marriage. Even Fox News probably never expected Mr. Roboto to come across as bad as he did. He even told Baier “We’ll have to redo this interview,” and that the way the back and forth was being conducted was “uncalled for.”
   Romney has time and again shown his impatience for people he obviously looks down upon —- check the debates. His weakness has been exposed: He’s easily irritated and can’t disguise it. This will play into the hand of President Obama, should the two ever come face to two-face in a debate.
   Can there be any doubt that Time magazine is up to speed this week with it’s cover story on Romney, asking the question “Why don’t they like me?”
   The Republican Party needs to nominate its tax deity Grover Norquist for president and The Donald as his running mate. The GOP candidates can’t seem to get by without whatever sage advice these two clowns are regurgitating.
   The GOP is a circus —- it even has the elephant as its symbol. Grover and The Donald are the modern day Barnum and Bailey. They look at every potential voter as “a sucker born every minute.”
   Presenting Ringmaster Romney —- who could only have this job because he is all style and no substance.
   There’s Newt the Lion Tamer —- he ended the Cold War, so these kings of the jungle are like putty-tats in his whip-wielding hands.
   There’s Michele Bachmann, the tiny, cute lady who rides on top of the elephant and leads the parade (choreographed by her hubby.)
    There’s Ron Paul: “Popcorn, get your peanuts and popcorn here.” He also doubles as the old coot who takes your ticket at the gate.
    Presenting Rick Perry, the Wild West sharpshooter who isn’t as adept at shooting cigarettes out the mouths of sexy circus ladies as he is shooting himself in the foot.
    And for his final performance as a Republican presidential contender, Herman Cain gets to pitch a tent.

    Clowns to the left of us, jokers to the right. Here we are, stuck in the middle-class blues.

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