Your country needs you

     Is Donald Trump really a secret weapon for President Obama’s re-election campaign?
 He is single-handidly making the Republican presidential hopefuls look like court jesters to his throne. Right now, at least with the liberal news media, Obama appears to be lucky with this field of poster children for Pez dispensers on the GOP side.
 OK, so The Donald isn’t working secretly for Obama. But what if he was? He would hear something like this from a key adviser in the White House:
 “The Donald, your country needs you. We must discredit the opposition in a way that keeps the president completely innocent. You have the power. You have the audience. You have the ego. You’re a shape-shifter who can appear as easily on Fox News as MSNBC. So what we really need is for you to just be yourself. The looney bin candidates the GOP is pushing will do the rest. So, do that fake birth certificate routine you do so well. Then do your turn as the pied piper and get each GOP candidate to meet with you separately for photo ops. They love photo ops and bumper sticker phrases. Toss them a bone or two in that department.
 “Of course the president will have to throw some curve balls your way so you’re not exposed as his secret weapon. He’ll even have to interrupt your worldly popular TV show “The Apprentice” —- Sunday nights on NBC —- with a major announcement. Not to worry, the announcement will have to be of the upmost importance to interrupt you. The president realizes this, so it will probably be something big like killing Osama bin Laden.
 “The Republican candidates are easily manipulated because they have no clue how to play in The Show. Hell, you can probably announce that you’re going to moderate a presidential debate and they’ll show up. So do this for us, The Donald. Your president needs you. Your country needs you.”

   Speaking of the Buffoon Tycoon’s debate, Mitt Romney has graciously declined to attend. But he gave a lame excuse as to why: He cited a scheduling conflict. That’s the political equivalent to “the dog ate my homework.”
  A few pundits saw this as Mr. Roboto showing some spine. That would’ve been the case, but this jelly fish pivoted from not kissing The Donald’s ring to puckering up to smooch the old wrinkled Aussie buttocks of Rupert Murdoch.
  The Tin Man bombed last week in an exclusive Fox News interview and afterwards said the reporter was unfair. Well, Tuesday Romney was back on Fox with his on-air atonement to the so-called news organization. He went as far as to admit that Fox was paramount to who will win the Republican nomination. That’s because it’s not the Republican primary, it’s the Fox News primary.
  Mitt Romney. What a tool. He’s so phoney and nauseating that even an unethical, philandering, lying windbag like Newt Gingrich is now trouncing him in the polls.
  So Gort figures Fox News will resurrect his frontrunner status. Fox News, which recently called out the new Muppet movie for spreading communism.
  What’s next, the characters in “Toy Story” are pushing atheism?
  Speaking of people who don’t believe in our Lord, President Obama is being attacked in the recent Texas Gov. Rick “Oops” Perry ad. George W. Bush’s clone says “I will end Obama’s war on religion.”
  And this is going to help create jobs how?
  In his ad, Perry continues with “something’s wrong when gays can serve openly in the military and our kids can’t openly pray in school.”
  Perry is so confused these days he ordered an LGBT at a Denny’s thinking it was a bacon, lettuce and tomato sammich with guacamole.
  Well, at least the sammich is served on a word that best describes Perry’s campaign: Toast.

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One Response to Your country needs you

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