Not of this Earth

    Scientists recently discovered a planet similar in many ways to Earth, but it’s 600 light years away in another solar system.
   NASA says the planet, named Kepler 22b, could support life and vegetation.
   They’re calling it Super Earth. Apparently our planet is just Adequate Earth. And if you watch enough TV commercials, you know why.
   Truth is these guys really discovered the planet in Superman’s bizarro universe.
   While there are some factors NASA nerds say are similar, as Yogi Berra would say, Earth and Super Earth’s similarities are different.
   How so? Well, on Super Earth:
      1. The Chicago Cubs have won the World Series every season for the last 100 years.
      2. Dan Quayle is currently serving his fifth term as President of the World.
      3. The faces on Mount Rushmore are: Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Buddy Hackett.
      4. The most popular name for boys born in 2011 is Hash Tag. For girls, it’s GaGa.
      5. You have to be gay to serve in the military.
      6. There is no unemployment on Super Earth because nobody has to work. Everything is paid for by the top two percent of the wealthy, CEOs of banks and major corporations and pharmacueticals.
      7. On the negative side: Super Earth is running out of oxygen because it is all being soaked up by the massive egos of Donald Trump, Newt Gingrich, Bono and Alec Baldwin.
      8. God does take sides in sporting events. Every once in a while he shows up personally when an athlete praises his name during post Super Bowl victory interviews.
      9. Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Kathryn Heigl, Julia Roberts and Justin Timberlake win Oscars every year.
      10. The scientists on Super Earth refer to our Earth as Cleveland.

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