Surfing the Santorum wave

    Mitt Romney’s money and SuperPAC stealth ad attacks helped propel him to a whopping 8-vote victory in the Iowa caucuses over Rick Santorum.
  Romney and his PACmen spent at least $4 million dollars to win the Hawkeye State’s hearts, minds and wallets. OK, so $4M is chump change in Romneyland.
  Santorum spent about $250,000 in ads in Iowa. OK, so $250,000 is a dinner and bar tab in Romneyland.
  The day after the Iowa caucus in New Hampshire Romney quickly got the endorsement from Sen. John “the fundamentals of the economy are still strong” McCain, the loser of the 2008 presidential election.
  Politically-wise, McCain will be best remembered for unleashing Sarah Palin onto the world stage.
  How would Iowa have played out had Princess Photo-Op been in the race? We’ll never know because Palin couldn’t man-up.
  Not so with her equally whacko surrogate Michele Bachmann, who gave us memorable yet dubious memories as she sought the GOP presidential nomination.
  Alas, the lass with sass met her Waterloo in Iowa and dropped out after getting a meesly 5 percent of the vote. Bachmann was born in Waterloo, Iowa.
  Irony, what a concept.
  Too bad. Her husband was so looking forward to being first lady.
  The day before the caucuses, Bachmann said she was praying for a miracle, and/or hinting to her supporters that a miracle was about to happen.
  Some may not know of miracles, but with Bachmann already out of the race, it ought to make some have renewed faith that there is a God.
  So the battle for the soul of the conservative wing of the Republican party has a new poster boy in Santorum.
  Pundits are expecting his new found surge to plummet as soon as the liberal news media digs deep into his record while he was in office. Santorum was a senator from Pennsylvania but lost his re-election bid in 2006 by 18 points.
  You know Pennsylvanians, they cling to their guns and religion. And if that 18-point loss was any indication, they thanked the lord Santorum was voted out of office. Then they probably went out and shot some critters on that election day to celebrate.
  Santorum is quickly becoming stereotyped faily or unfairly by the liberal news media as a candidate who doesn’t like people of color. He certainly doesn’t like gay people. He cringes at same-sex marriage. He’s against contraceptives, sex without being married and abortions, even in cases of rape and incest —- or if the woman’s life is in danger.
  This guy shouldn’t be president of the United States. He should be president of Iran.
  Santorum has been a Fox News contributor (that’s where all the right wing-nuts go after they leave office) and the overlord of Fox and all things yellow journalism, Rupert Murdoch, more or less anointed Santorum right before the Iowa caucuses.
  Imagine if people started surfing the Santorum wave.
  Women will want their men to start wearing the signature Santorum sweater-vests.
  Santorum might even garner enough TV cred that he could stop by David Letterman’s show and do a Top Ten List.
  “And the number one thing you should know about me, Rick Santorum: I look like the guy whose job Mitt Romney shipped overseas.”
   Only problem with the Santorum wave? It will never be able to stem the tide against the Romney tsunami.
   The Republican party only has room for one natural disaster.

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