Of Mouse and Men

      President Obama, you just rejected the construction of the Keystone pipeline that could mean thousands of jobs. What are you going to do now?
  “I’m going to Disney World!”
  Obama spoke Thursday at Disney’s Magic Kingdom because a speech on jobs and tourism is a wish your heart makes.
  Easy joke any Republican can make about Obama at Disney World: “This president’s administration should be called Obama World because it’s a Mickey Mouse operation.”
  Ironic that Obama is at Disney World on the day that Goofy, uh, Texas Gov. Rick Perry, dropped out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. Of course, Perry’s campaign for the nomination can be summed up in one word: “Oops.”
  This means there are only four Lost Boys, uh, candidates left to be the Republican Party’s standard-bearer.
  As bad a day as it was for Perry, it’s been a bad week for Prince Charming Mitt Romney.
  A recount Thursday showed that Sleepy Rick Santorum, and not Mr. Roboto, actually won the Iowa caucuses.
  Adding insult to injury, Perry threw what little support he had left to Grumpy Newt Gingrich.
  But Romney has been his own worst enemy when he matter-of-factly says crapola like he made money in speaking fees last year but “not very much.”
  Turns out Gordon Gekko made $374,000, or $42,000 per speech. A mere pittance. Or in Romney’s case, a mere Mitt-ance.
  Then Mr. “Corporations are people” took deserved flak for not releasing his tax returns, but says he probably pays 15 percent. See, Mr. “It’s not income inequality, it’s envy” can relate to the middle class, because we pay that much or more.
  Mr. “I like being able to fire people” should start with canning members of his own campaign staff for not getting ahead of this silly old income tax thing.
  And the hits against Mitts keep on coming: He has offshore investments in the Cayman Islands.
  What’s the matter, Willard, American investments not good enough?
  Willard Mitt Romney, the ultimate Pluto-crat.
  And now for the soap opera portion of the GOP race for the White House. Newt’s second ex-wife spoke out on ABC News about their tumultuous marriage, saying that the Newtster wanted an “open marriage.”
  Coming soon to Fox TV’s “Animation Domination” Sunday night shows, Newt Gingrich as “Family Values Guy.”
  Just when you thought reality TV couldn’t stoop any lower.
  If this keeps continuing, the GOP may have to nominate a Kardashian.
  Speaking of someone who has never been Bashful and is a reality TV show herself, Princess Photo-Op Palin said if she was voting in this Saturday’s South Carolina Primary, she’d vote Newt. So pleased to hear that, the former House Speaker asked her if she was into open marriages. OK, that’s not true. But he did say that there would be a place for the Princess in his administration.
  Dopey in the Cabinet? You mean a job, where she’d have to work?
  If Newt does place ahead of Romney on Saturday, it will be a whole new primary out there for each one of these Pinocchios. OK, Ron Paul is Gepetto.
  The party of Lincoln has become the party of what are you guys thinking?
  And then there were four left standing. After Saturday they’ll be singing “Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to the Florida Primary we go….”
  No coincidence that Obama was there ahead of them on Thursday.
  Flying back on Air Force One he had to be singing, “When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who your GOP opponents are…”