Hollywood or bust

          Hollywood is running out of original ideas.
       This year’s Oscar winner was made by French socialists and it was about the silent era of, oh ya, Hollywood.
       It makes sense that Hollywood chose “The Artist” as best picture. The movie industry loves honoring films based on the past, be it real or fictional.
       Besides, modern day era movies tend to suck.
       Seriously, how many more Adam Sandler-some-guy gets-hit-in-the-junk juvneile humor retreads does the movie-going public have to endure? You know, you can save the price of a movie ticket: If you want juvenile humor, just stay at home and watch TV. It’s free.
       Enough already, too with the CGI epics where the hero always has his “Braveheart” moment where he rouses his troops with the “Freedom!” chant.
       Hopefully, Garry Marshall has run out of holidays where he gets a cast of “luke warm” young stars to share their rom-com stories in one flick. Maybe one more, Garry: call it “Arbor Day” featuring a rom-com segment where Mitt Romney waxes romantically about how the trees in Michigan are just the right height.
       Here’s an idea, use CGI and combine movies from the past or recent past for a collaboration of sorts. In some cases, Hollywood can bring back actors from the past, dead or alive.
       A few pitches, if you will:
        1. Sandra Bullock’s early romantic comedy hit meets Julia Roberts’ get-revenge-on-abusive-husband movie when the two star in “While You Were Sleeping With The Enemy.”
        2. Julia Roberts, again, this time when one of her romantic comedies hooks up with a classic monster movie and we get “Runaway Bride of Frankenstein.”
        3. The Beatles revive the “Paul is Dead” publicity stunt that was a phenomenon back in the late 1960s, when the Fab Four collaborate with horror film director George A. Romero for “A Hard Day’s Night of the Living Dead.”
        4. Or, since the Beatles were compared to the Marx Brothers in their only two musical comedy flicks, there’s always “A Hard Day’s Night at the Opera.”
        5. Julie Andrews revives her Oscar-winning performance when her famous character finds itself in the raunchy comedy “There’s Something About Mary Poppins.”
        6. Steven Spielberg dreams up the theory that space aliens orchestrated the Sept. 11 attacks for his “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”
        7. The ghosts (courtesy of that CGI thingy) of Walter Matthau and George Burns are once again vaudvillians, but this time they find themselves booked in a new venue: East L.A. in “The Sunshine Boyz ‘n’ the Hood.”
        8. Another Neil Simon script adds witty and urbane one-liners as it collides with the violent crime drama “The Goodbye Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”
        9. Vietnam War veterans suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder whose jobs were down-sized break into Macauley Culkin’s house on Christmas Eve in the heart-warming comedy-drama “Coming Home Alone.”
        10. The classic Marilyn Monroe gold-digger comedy from the 1950s gets the Bollywood treatment when the sex goddess icon ends up in India to star in “How to Marry a Slumdog Millionaire.”
       

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