Straight talk

     Unhinged televangelist Pat Robertson has come out in favor of legalizing marijuana. Apparently because the war on drugs has failed.
   This makes sense because of the many comments in the past Robertson has made have had a lot of people wondering if he isn’t high on something.
   Marijuana  legalization, huh? Maybe Robertson might want to look into having the theme to his 700 Club changed to “Jesus is Just Alright” by The Doobie Brothers.
   In a drug-related issue, there’s a renegade medical report suggesting that LSD could help treat alcoholism. What’s next, cocaine can cure nasal decongestion?
   But back to Robertson and the legalize marijuana comment. He might be right, because if Rick Santorum is ever elected president we’re all going to have to be high to get through it.
   Santorum just can’t shake the social issues that drive him batty. They’ve all been well-documented, from homosexuality is equivalent to man on dog, to college indoctinates the young into liberalism to women and what they should do with their bodies to avoid burning in hell.
   And, oh ya, Satan is attacking America.
   The guy is so paranoid he even gets phobic about the little things. Like movies. Here are some movies Santorum won’t watch because the titles are so misleading he thinks they should be banned by the Catholic Legion of Decency:
         1. “Of Human Bondage”
         2. “The 400 Blows”
         3. “Jules and Jim”
         4. “The Bank Dick”
         5. “Octopussy”
         6. “Eating Raoul”
         7. “Howards End”
         8. “The Thing”
         9. “Rear Window”
         10. “Eight Men Out”
   Words Rick Santorum won’t use because they sound gay:
         1. Ambience
         2. Fabulous
         3. Cabaret
         4. Tofu
         5. Fierce
         6. Nuance
         7. Bona fides
         8. Liza
         9. Closet
         10. Greco-Roman wrestling

      Speaking of words, the words fear and loathing could be the mottos of Alabama and Mississippi, where the two Republican primaries will be conducted on Tuesday.
    Alabama and Mississippi. The only signs you see for President Obama in those two states are WANTED! posters.
    A recent poll found that 52 percent of people in Alabama think Obama is a Muslim. In Mississippi it’s 45 percent.
    The only poll higher in Mississippi would be the number of people who have never been to the dentist.

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9 Responses to Straight talk

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    You guys down at the fishwrap really need to make an effort to keep this guy away from his terminal after he has been drinking. His writing gets less lucid every time he posts.

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