Metaphor for Mitt

    Mitt Romney’s birthday was a week or so ago, but it’s he or his surrogates who keep giving gifts to his competition for the Republican presidential nomination, as well as the Democrats.
    From “I like firing people” to “I’m not concerned about the very poor” to “Ann has a couple of Cadillacs,” the GOP frontrunner seems as distant as the Milky Way to middle-class America and independent voters.
    Wednesday started off well for Romney, who easily won the Illinois Primary the night before. Then he picked up the  important endorsement of former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, however reluctant (Jeb Tweeted it and then mentioned in passing that he had no plans to campaign for the GOP’s presumptive nominee.)
    But all that good news was quickly overshadowed — like it had been written on an etch-and-sketch and then turned upside down and shaken. It was replaced with a metaphor for Mitt Romney the aforementioned retro-toy etch-a-sketch.
    Romney communications director Eric Fehrnstrom, answering a question on CNN about his candidate being pulled farther to the right in the primaries, casually said the campaign will hit a reset button for the fall. He added the campaign will “shake it up and start all over again” like “an etch-and-sketch.”
    The gaffe had the immediacy of a tornado touching down on a trailer park.
    Romney’s challengers to the GOP throne, Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich, pounced on it like a cougar at a singles bar for 21-year-olds. Newt and Rick each had an etch-and-sketch in hand on their campaign stumps.
    The retro-toy is the perfect metaphor for Mitt. Or in this case, a Mittaphor. The toy is a flip-flopper’s dream and it’s made of plastic. Like Romney.
    A real stroke of genius matching the candidate to an inanimate object that perfectly describes him. Why didn’t someone think of this before? No campaign wizards working for Romney’s compeition or the White House for that matter could’ve ever come up with this one. Not even late show comedy writers had that in their gag bags.
    Romney, trying to downplay the gaffe later on Wednesday, looked more shaken than stirred.
    Six degress of the etch-a-sketch as it relates to Mitt Romney (accomplished in four steps):
       1. The etch-a-sketch toy has been around for generations.
       2. The retro-toy is still sold at Toys ‘R’ Us.
       3. Toys ‘R’ Us is owned by Bain Capital.
       4. Mitt Romney fired people and shipped jobs overseas while he was a honcho with Bain Capital.
    Mitt Romney once said “I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.”
    If he’s a man of his word, and thus far in the campaign he hasn’t shown that to be the case because he keeps changing his position on an array of issue, then his communications director is on very short leash. This gaffe is going to dog Romney.
    If Fehrnstrom isn’t fired, he should at least be punished by riding on the roof of one of Ann’s two Cadillacs.
       Movies retitled with etch-a-sketch in mind starring Mitt Romney:
       1. “The Seven-Year Etch”
       2. “Retro-Toy Story”
       3. “Etch-22″
       4. “Sketch Me if You Can”
       5. “To Etch His Own”

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