Plane crazy

    The flight was supposed to be from New York to Vegas, but it was re-routed to Texas because it was a JetBlue airliner.
    The jinxed airliner was the one that kept passengers grounded on a tarmac last November and didn’t give them water or permit them to use the bathrooms. JetBlue was also the airliner where a flight attendant got snippy with a passenger and then suddenly up and quit and walked off the job while the plane was preparing for take off.
    But the worst incident for JetBlue happened last week when the pilot went berserko grande while the airliner was in flight. Passengers had to subdue the pilot, who kept ranting about al-Qaida, Iraq, Afghanistan, and even told passengers to start saying The Lord’s Prayer.
    He panicked like the passengers did in “Airplane!” when the stewardess matter-of-factly asked if anyone on board knew how to fly an airplane.
    Where’s Ted Stryker when you need him?
    Upon landing in Texas, the pilot was carted off in a strait-jacket. That’s the bad news for him. The good news is he passed the audition to be a commentator on Fox News.
    Excuses the pilot gave for going bananas:
       1. Upset that the Supreme Court could find Obamacare constitutional.
       2. Invested all of his money in “John Carter” movie merchandise.
       3. Wanted to re-enact his pitch to network execs — the next reality TV show “Survivor Mile High Club.”
       4. Finally cracked after hearing air traffic controllers say “niner” instead of “nine” one too many times.
       5. Went over the edge when he found out in mid-flight that Liza cancelled her Vegas gig.