Word and hunger games

  And now for the things they said this week that their egos won’t let them take back, even though their words had some of us scratching out heads wondering what they were thinking.
       And the winners are:
          @President Obama: He used the words “social Darwinism” referring to GOP Congressman Paul Ryan’s budget plan.
          Valiant attempt, Mr. President, but Republicans think Darwin is a heretic, so it fell on deaf ears. As if that’s something new.
          Besides, when you mention Darwin to everyday folk, they think you’re talking about Samantha’s husband on “Bewitched.”
          @Ann Romney: When asked why her husband Mitt is pretty much void of a personality, she said maybe it was time to unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out.
          Looks like Ann is not the campaign’s only secret weapon. Caution: Not to be used on the war on women.
          @Mitt Romney: During his speech to the Associated Press, the likely GOP presidential nominee said President Obama was “out of touch.”
          Obama, he of the car elevator for his wife’s two Cadillacs, who makes $57,000 a day not working and has off-shore accounts in the Cayman Islands.
          Before Romney and the GOP is done with Obama, those who already be hating on the president will believe he’s the one who says he likes to fire people, not concerned about the very poor and has best friends who own NASCAR and NFL teams.
          By November, Fox News will have the frightened ones believing Obama straps Bo the dog to the top of the presidential limo when the family drives up to Camp David on weekends.
         @Reince Priebus (Reince Preibus?) the head of the Republican National Committee said that it was “fiction” that the GOP is waging a war on women. He added that if Democrats said Republicans were waging a war on caterpillars, the liberal media would report that the Republican Party is waging a war on caterpillars.
          By him an etch-a-sketch to erase that one, which had some women thinking the analogy he was making compared the female of the species to the insect species.
          No matter, by this time next week, Fox will have their true believers convinced Obama called women worms.
          By the way, Reince Priebus sounds like it could be a scientific name for something a lot of us might be aware of —– reincepriebus: the irritation people get when they’re at the beach and wet sand getts trapped in places on the body they’d rather forget about.
       Worst photo op of the week: Meat Romney and Paul Rye-an in “Sandwichgate” (Or, Republican Hunger Game”)
        Romney may have violated state election laws in Wisconsin this past week when he and his sidekick handed out free sandwiches to voters on their way to and from the voting booths.
       The law states no candidate shall give anything free to voters on election day, including ham and cheese hoagies, Mitt.
       The easy out here is saying, what’s the big deal with the lunchmeat, everybody knows Romney is full of baloney.
       Heck, he peddles it.
       But he could pay a fine. Could cost him some lettuce. A Wisconsin prosecutor isn’t taking this with a grain of salt. He may want to steak out an investigation.
       The Mittster could pay as much as a $10,000 fine. You know, his usual friendly bet amount.
       Movies that Mit can be in that are retitled to suit Hoagiegate:
               1. “The Philadelphia Cream Cheese Story”
               2. “Adam’s Prime Rib”
               3. “The Ox-Roast Incident”
               4. “A Clockwork Orange Chicken”
               5. “Breakfast, lunch and dinner at Tiffany’s”
               Famous novels that can be retitled to suit Mitt (he of the Hungry-man dinner):
                1. The Old Man and the Chicken of the Sea”
                2. “Naked Lunchmeat”
                3. “Catcher in the Rye Bread”
                4. “Ketchup-22″
                5. “The Crepes of Wrath”

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