The Fox News-Karl Rove-Mitt Romney agenda of scaring the frightened ones is already in general election mode.
“Be afraid. Be very afraid” was the promo for the 1980s remake of “The Fly.” But the same thing can be used by the right wing as they strike fear into the hearts and minds of the paranoid when warning of an Obama second term.
Romney accused President Obama of running a “hide-and-seek” campaign. He could’ve used the word stealth, but he wanted to continue talking kiddie talk — to go along with his image as an etch-a-sketch candidate.
Apparently Obama didn’t want to do all this secret, shady stuff the right wing and their hallogram presidential candidate warn about in his first term. He wanted to wait to get re-elected (no guarantee of that) to let loose the Kracken.
Ten things Fox News will convince the frightened ones what to fear if Obama has a second term:
1. Food stamps will become the nation currency.
2. Women will be making the same wages doing the same jobs as men.
3. Female contraceptives will be handed out in grade schools!
4. Should a Supreme Court justice pass on, Hillary Clinton will be appointed to the bench, bringing with her a new fashion: robe pantsuits.
5. Fat people will be placed in internment camps.
6. Two words: More mosques.
7. National anthem will be replaced with LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out.”
8. “Stand Your Ground” law will be repealed nationwide. There goes any chance of vigilantism ever being able to qualify for religious tax breaks.
9. Press Secretary Keith Olbermann.
10. Mandatory Oval Office attire for the president and his Cabinet: Hoodies.
Five things you’ll never hear Mitt Romney say:
5. “My tax returns for the past five years? I’ve got them right here.”
4. “Make sure the dog is in the back seat of the car.”
3. “We can’t run that political ad, it’s full of lies.”
2. “Hurry, Anne, I don’t want to be late for that live one-hour interview with Rachel Maddow.”
And the number one thing you’ll never hear Mitt Romney say:
“Absolutely not, Rush.”