Bill Clinton was the featured attraction Monday at a fundraiser in New York for President Obama.
Bubba was in the Big Apple and he took a big bite out of the Romney candidacy, saying it would be “calamitous” for the country if he would be elected.
As usual, there were celebrities like Jon Bon Jovi on hand for the fundraiser.
Since Obama and Clinton were in New York, they could’ve conducted the festivities in a show bidness manner, like a two-man show on Broadway called “A Fine Bromance” (which would probably make Rick Santorum nervous.)
And if that was the case, it might have gone something like this:
Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together and your money where your mouths are and give it up for the Dynamic Democratic Duo: President Barack Obama and President Bill Clinton. Bubba and Barack!”
Obama: Hello, New York! It’s good to be back in the city that never sleeps! And this crowd looks wide awake.
Bubba: And, ladies, Bubba can still dance the night away. Hillary is still in American Samoa, right?
Obama: As far as I know.
Bubba: But before we get down and boogie oogie woogie till we just can’t boogie oogie no more, we’d like to perform a few musical numbers, as a tribute to the Broadway we all know and love.
Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the Dynamic Democratic Duo’s duet and their tribute to the Great White Way!”
“You gotta have Drones” (sung to the tune of “You gotta have Heart”)
Bubba and Barack:
“You gotta have drones
fleets and fleets and fleets of drones.
When fighting the war on terror
there’s no margain for error.
Just pick up the phone
and order more drones.
“You gotta have air strikes
triple the number of airstrikes.
There’s nothing like retribution
says so in the Constitution.
Don’t matter what the GOP likes
triple the number of airstrikes.”
Obama: Thank you. Ready for the flip side, Bill?
Bubba: Let’s rock ‘n’ roll.
“Mitt” (sung to the song “Kids”)
Bubba and Barack:
“Mitt. What position is he gonna take today?
Mitt. Tomorrow he’ll just etch-a-sketch it away.
Mitt. His gloom and doom is grown tired.
Mitt. He’s best at telling Americans ‘you’re fired.’
And while we’re slamming the GOP:
Reince. Reince Priebus is the RNC chair.
Reince. Sounds like an illness in need of Obamacare.
Fox. Fox News fearmongering is redundant.
Fox. Is it us or is Hannity repugnant?
Oh, why can’t Mitt Romney hold down a job with steady pay?
And what position will Mitt take today?”
Obama: Thanks again. Now before we give our speeches we’d like to tell you about some gifts you can purchase just by giving $10 or more to the campaign. Bill.
Bubba: That’s right. For a small donation you can purchased autographed bumper stickers and T-shirts that will help get this man re-elected.
Obama: Like what items, you might ask. Like this anti-Romney T-shirt: “urBAIN legend.”
Bubba: Or this beauty pullover for dissidents who see class warfare being raged on the middle class: “ROMONEY for President.”
Obama: And we can’t forget all those hard-working Americans who lost their jobs because Mittens outsourced their jobs to India. So good folks can wear this T-shirt wherever the middle class is hurting: “It’s not downsize, it’s MITTimize.”
Bubba: Now, all of the items aren’t of a political stripe, right Barack?
Obama: That’s right, Bill. We’re still not done courting the youth vote. Here’s a great T-shirt to get a slam in against mom and dad, who try to be hip and abuse the latest intechnology. It’s “Parents need not app(ly).”
Bubba: Get it?
Obama: Got it.
Obama: And now on to the speeches. Transcripts of which will be sold in the lobby.
Bubba: And for exercise, join the first lady as she and you try to hit Joe Biden with a dodge ball. Is he alright with that?
Obama: His punishment for opening his pie hole on “Meet the Press.”