Royalty and Romney

    Two news stories of the past week were covered quite differently.
  Appropriately, broadcast news organizations covered Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee. But only the newspaper of record, The New York Times, covered the story about the hizzy of America’s royalty, The Romneys.
  First up, her majesty. The Diamond Jubilee was a four-day festive occasion to celebrate her 60 years on the throne (shouldn’t she see an internist for that?) All of Ol’ England was jolly.
  One of the spectacular events of the four-day celebration was a rock concert for her royal highness. Performing were the likes of Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder, Elton John and Tom Jones. McCartney probably didn’t perform the ditty “Her Majesty” from the “Abbey Road” album. He probably didn’t break out on stage with “Helter Skelter” either.
   Things overheard in the crowd at the concert:
    1. “Speaking of old queens, what time does Elton John take the stage?”
    2. “One would not readily associate Tom Jones with performing for royalty. Apparently, ‘it’s not unusual.’ “
    3. “I hear Kate’s hubby is so taken with the randy hip-hop culture, he now wants to be known as Prince Will.i.am.”
    4. “Now I’ve seen everything: Camilla Parker Bowles is part of the mosh pit.”
    5. “I’m going to have to deck Prince Charles if he asks me one more time if I want to see the family jewels.”

     Meanwhile, much ado about nutin’ was that New York Times spread —- OK, not all of it was complimentary —- about the Romney ocean front property in La Jolla.
   Since the palacious palace is being remodeled it has become somewhat of a drag to some of the snooty neighbors. And Mitt is not always looked upon as a Good Neighbor Sam.
   Conservatives and right wing-nuts are whining that the article is a political hack job.
   Wait a minute. Stop the presses. It’s not like the spread was on page A1 and continued on page A3. It was in the Home section, which is like the D section of a newspaper. You know, where you find articles like “How to tell if your house cat is gay.” Or, “Verandas, are they making a comeback?” Or even, “10 other uses for a spatula (the misunderstand utensil.”)
   Indeed, because it’s the New York Times, the article was comprehensive. But even they left out a few key facts, including:
     1. The car elevator is being installed by galley slaves who are being paid in food stamps.
     2. Home includes massive bird sanctuary, where Mitt houses his pet vultures.
     3. For years the mansion was one of Dick Cheney’s undisclosed locations.
     4. City Council once voted to ban Mitt from swimming in the ocean because the gunk in his hair caused oil slicks.
     5. Next new edition to the property: The Citizens United Golf Course.

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