One word

I bought two plastic shower curtains on Sunday, one to use in the obvious place, the second to protect the non-tile, painted wall within the shower. Yes, I’m a thoughtful tenant, one willing to shower within a cocoon to preserve my owners’ investment.

Side thought: Does anyone ever pay full price at Bed Bath and Beyond? Those blue and white 20 percent off coupons seem to arrive in my mailbox almost weekly. They’re so ubiquitous, they even popped up on a cluttered desk in “Kill Bill Volume 1.”

(Alternate names I’ve heard for the chain: Bad Breath and Beyond, or Birdbath and Beyond.)

In any event, replacing my curtains meant perching on the edge of the tub and unhooking a couple of dozen rings, gathering up the old curtains and tossing them, then resuming my perch, punching through the holes in the curtains and hooking them up to all those rings. Pop pop pop pop. Tedious work, but it’s nice to have my mildewed old curtains gone.

The problem now is that my bathroom, and in fact half my house, now smells like fresh plastic. I love the smells of napalm and plastic in the morning.

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  • Scott in R.C.

    “non-tile painted wall within the shower”? Are you kidding me?

    Better have that wall checked for mold spores or your owner’s investment could be going down the shower drain like the rest of the housing investments out there.

  • Vlad

    In old country we don’t shower wall paint. If we have shower. No, we let wood and plaster get like black sponge. When mushroom blooms we shave wall and cook mushroom for lunch. Very nice with steamed goat head left over from football game. — Vlad

  • RP

    “I love the smells of napalm and plastic in the morning”

    This is not a funny joke, given that our “brave troops” are still using similar weapons against mixed populations of innocent civilians, minutemen, and terrorists in Iraq and Afghanistan.

    As used in the original context, the quote (without the “and plastic”) was used by Robert Duvall to portray (by exaggeration) a killer’s viewpoint. Even then, it is incomplete without following the film through to the Marlon Brando speech near the end: “Oh the horror.”

    [How about I follow through with “the horror…the horror” now, after reading your comment? — DA]

  • Vlad

    Reader RP is very full of, how to say, in-sight. In old country Robert Duvall is national hero. We greet each other in morning saying “Smell of Napalm” with our old country salute.

    Glad RP has “original context.” We love good old musicals like Acropolis Now. –Vlad

    [Appreciate the, er, support, Vlad. — DA]


    David…..inquiring minds want to know…as you are the Style King of Claremont…did you get the matching shower cap??

  • Del Griffin

    I’m still trying to grasp the image of brave soldiers using shower curtains as weapons.
    Seems sort of Monty Pythonish to me.

  • Del Griffin

    Or maybe, just maybe the shower curtain rod could be a weapon… but certainly not the plastic curtains. I mean maybe, just maybe, one could envision a phalanx of “brave” warriors armed with curtain rods and wearing chain mail armor fashioned from shower curtain rings as they prepare for battle with the innocents or terrorists, but the plastic curtains just seem so benign. What, would they be snapped like a wet towel? Or inflict vinyl allergies on the enemy? Just seems like plastic is getting a bad rap here IMO.

    [This is the most intriguing discussion this week and I don’t understand a word of it. — DA]

  • Charles Bentley

    The real question that should be asked — What could MacGyver do with two plastic shower curtains, a curtain rod and a number of plastic shower curtain rings?

    Of course, Del Griffith needed only the rings to score a good hotel room and a rental car, if memory serves.

    How about you, David?

    [Those rings can really pinch, so they might come in handy if I’m attacked in the bathroom. Pinch! Pinch! Pinch! Jack Bauer, though, could probably find a way to use the shower curtain rod to stab someone in the thigh. — DA]