It ain’t me, babe


A news release from the Upland Public Library:

“UPLAND — Race on in to the Upland Public Library to hear Dave Allen, Vice President Marketing and Sales, Auto Club Speedway talk about the history of the Auto Club Speedway. Mr. Allen will also be sharing his personal racing experiences from his early childhood karting days at Laguna Seca to Crew Chief of a World of Outlaws Sprint Car Team. Don’t miss this opportunity to hear about a local racing venue and one of the most popular spectator sports in the world — Automobile Racing.

“This free program will be presented in the Multipurpose Room of the Library on Saturday, January 16th, 2 – 3 p.m. The Upland Public Library is located at 450 N. Euclid Avenue in Upland. For more information about the Meet the Expert series contact the Library at 909-931-4205.”

I’m tempted to attend just to meet my doppelganger, Mr. Dave Allen. But if we shook hands, would the universe explode?

Dave Allen (courtesy photo)

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  • Well, if a meeting between you & Dave Allen threatens to end the universe as we know it, one shudders to think what would happen if you both got together with these guys:

    * David Allen, author & productivity expert (

    * David Allen, installer of marble, granite, terrazzo & tile (

    * David Allen, photographer (

    By the universally accepted measurements established by Arlo Guthrie in Alice’s Restaurant, it appears that David Allen-ism has passed the standard for an organization & is heading toward “movement” status.

    [I’ve also met a David Allen who worked at Upland High, and I believe there’s a TV personality on the BBC named Dave Allen. My files also contain a flier left on my windshield in a parking lot one day a decade ago for a female real estate agent named — I kid you not — Davida Allen. Ka-boom! (sound of universe exploding or movement beginning, take your pick) — DA]

  • Bob House

    Seems there’s some possibility of creating an alternate universe, were you ever to meet someone named (cue ominous music). . . Allen David.

    [Not that you would know this, being in Arizona, but Inland Empire Weekly has a columnist who goes by that very (and very unlikely) name. — DA]

  • You should have already met Dave Allen by now. I’m guessing you didn’t shake hands because the universe did not explode. But maybe you made the island reappear hence the start of the new Lost season?

    [We shook hands twice, at the start of our chat and at the end, the second time canceling the chain reaction that was set to explode the universe but still shaking things up enough to make the island reappear. Thank you for asking. — DA]