‘Its like you learn my thoughts!’

This could be a continuing series, as a new wave of spam comments on this blog includes English-as-a-third-language generic praise under commercial names (and, most importantly, with links to their websites). Many of the comments, which seem to originate overseas, sound as if they relied on Google’s translation button and spellcheck. Here are some recent gems.

* “Hello my family member! I want to say that this article is amazing, nice written and come with approximately all important infos. I’d like to see extra posts like this.”

* “I do accept as true with all the ideas you have introduced on your post. They are really convincing and can certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are too short for beginners. May you please prolong them a bit from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.”

* “Unquestionably imagine that which you stated. Your favorite justification seemed to be at the internet the simplest factor to have in mind of. I say to you, I definitely get irked whilst folks think about concerns that they just don’t recognize about. You managed to hit the nail upon the highest and outlined out the whole thing without having side-effects, people can take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks.”

* “I do consider all the ideas you have offered on your post. They are very convincing and can certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are very quick for novices. May just you please lengthen them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.”

* “Fantastic beat! I wish to apprentice at the same time as you amend your website, how can i subscribe for a blog web site? The account aided me a applicable deal. I have been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided vibrant transparent concept.”

* “I’ll right away take hold of your rss feed as I can not in finding your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly allow me realize so that I could subscribe. Thanks.”

* “Its like you learn my thoughts! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the guide in it or something. I feel that you could do with a few percent to power the message home a little bit, however other than that, that is fantastic blog. A great read. I will certainly be back.”

* “Pretty component to content. I simply stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to claim that I get in fact loved account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your augment or even I achievement you get entry to constantly fast.”

* “Unquestionably consider that that you said. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the internet the simplest factor to bear in mind of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while folks think about concerns that they just do not understand about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the top and outlined out the whole thing without having side-effects, other folks could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks.”

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  • Ramona

    Well, we could say that praise is praise no matter its source.

    There are days when even a poorly phrased and translated word of encouragement would be welcome.

    I suggest you save a couple of the more effusive spam comments to look at when you’re down in the dumps.

    Or don’t you get the uglies from time to time like the rest of us?

    [Yes, when I’m feeling low, I’ll recall the honeyed phrase “Unquestionably imagine that which you stated” and my spirits will rise again! — DA]

  • http://www.lagumbay.com/ Allan

    Fun with Google Translate (translate.google.com):

    I ran the first few lines of Ginsberg’s “Howl” through Google Translate hopping from English to Latin to Esperanto to 3 or 4 other languages (I lost track) and then back to English.

    These are my results:

    I saw the best minds I lost
    Madness, starving hysterical naked,
    Themselves through the negro streets at dawn, dragging
    For angry faces is fixed,
    angelheaded old Paradise Water Hipsters
    Machine to purchase a Starry Night
    Poverty and rags and hollow eyes and a deep seat
    Smoking in the supernatural darkness
    Blasts of cold water on top of
    Gothic art, thinking,

    [Oh, those Paradise Water Hipsters! Here’s the original:
    “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
    madness, starving hysterical naked,
    dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
    looking for an angry fix,
    angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
    connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
    who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
    up smoking in the supernatural darkness of
    cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities
    contemplating jazz…” — DA]

  • Bob House

    I find these spam comments life-affirming. They’re proof that someone is wasting more time on the Internet than I am.

    Also, as an old (OLD) English major, I find it troubling that Allan’s wacky translation is as interesting as Allen’s original. My favorite Ginsberg quote: “I’m not afraid to wear a suit, I just don’t want to.”

    [Ha ha! Thanks for the witty commentary as always, Bob. — DA]

  • Steve

    “There are definitely a whole lot of particulars like that to take into consideration. That is a nice point to carry up. I offer the ideas above as common inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you convey up the place a very powerful factor shall be working in honest good faith. I don’t know if finest practices have emerged around things like that, but Im positive that your job is clearly identified as a fair game.”

    This spammer’s fractured-English comment on my blog concluded with a moral lesson: “Both boys and girls feel the influence of only a moments pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.”

    David, great post! Your job is clearly identified as a fair game.

    {Nice to hear from a fellow spam-sufferer, Steve. — DA]

  • http://empoprise-ie.blogspot.com/ John E. Bredehoft

    When I’ve occasionally clicked on the links in these comments, I’ve sometimes found that they go to legitimate businesses run by people who actually speak English. I suspect that these people pay for a “get traffic to your website” service, and this is what the service delivers.

    Several months ago I wrote a couple of posts about a plumber who happens to be named John Bredehoft. (Poor guy.) These posts have attracted comments from plumbing services all over the world. May I assume that they won’t charge extra for travel time to Ontario, California?

    [It hadn’t occurred to me that some of the comments relate to legitimate businesses, but you’re probably right about how they end up here. For our purposes, they’re not legitimate comments, and I zap them as soon as I see them. — DA]

  • Charles Quinn

    Have you ever read one of the Fictitious Business Name Statements published in the Daily Bull? The part that always gets me is – “a registrant who declares as true information, with he or she snows to be false, is guilty of a crime.” When you snow someone you are pulling one on them, so to “snows to be false” are you telling the truth? So much for spell checkers. Otherwise, it is a slow day in the office.

    [Maybe for you. I hadda crank out a Wednesday column. — DA]

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    [OK, I usually delete this stuff, but incomprehensible automated spam on a post about incomprehensible automated spam is too delicious an irony not to keep around. — DA]

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