ONT change prompts sinking feeling

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* Update: I was misinformed as to the source of the second press release. It was forwarded to us by Ontario, but they now say it was circulating internally within Los Angeles World Airports and made its way to them. “We don’t know who actually penned it,” says Paul Haney, Ontario’s PR guy. While I’m disappointed (if not surprised) that Ontario gets its sense of humor secondhand, it’s interesting that even within LAWA, someone must be rolling their eyes at the official importance placed on the shuffling of duties. I struck the mistaken wording below.

Ontario Someone has deployed a new weapon in the attempt to take back Ontario International Airport from LA: sarcasm.

Responding to a press release from Los Angeles World Airports about a change in the management structure of the airport, the city sent out someone wrote their own tongue-in-cheek announcement reflecting the view that the change is akin to rearranging the deck chairs on … well, see for yourself. (I added all the photos.)

First, the top half of the LAWA press release:

REPORTING STRUCTURE CHANGE ANNOUNCED
FOR LA/ONTARIO INTERNATIONAL AND VAN NUYS AIRPORTS

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(Los Angeles, California – April 30, 2012) In an effort to provide increased coordination between divisions and improve continuity at Los Angeles World Airports (LAWA), Executive Director Gina Marie Lindsey has announced a structural change in reporting that involves two LAWA airports: LA/Ontario International (ONT) and Van Nuys (VNY) general aviation.

Effectively immediately, Jess Romo, airport manager of both facilities, will report to LAWA’s Chief Operating Officer Steve Martin in an effort to align the expanded duties
associated with his position.

“It has become clear that the daily management demands at both airports have moved progressively and significantly beyond the confines of Airport Operations,” Lindsey said. “Management oversight at ONT and VNY airports includes an ever-expanding set of requirements in areas of public and community relations, effective tenant and stakeholder relations, resource allocation, budget controls and ONT air service development.”

“Jess will actively participate in the ONT Task Force, along with other LAWA executive staff, and will take an active role in determining service levels from other divisions at the two airports for which he has accountability,” Lindsey added.

All other reporting relationships at the two airports remain unchanged.

***
Now, the Ontario bootleg version:

REPORTING STRUCTURE CHANGE ANNOUNCED
FOR RMS OLYMPIC AND RMS TITANTIC STEAMSHIPS

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(Liverpool, England – April 14, 1912) In an effort to provide increased coordination between divisions and improve continuity at White Star Lines, Managing Director and Chairman Bruce Isman announced a structural change in reporting that involves two White Star Lines ships: RMS Olympic and RMS Titantic.

Effectively immediately, Captain Edward John Smith, captain of the two ships, will report to White Star’s Chief Operating Officer in an effort to align the expanded duties associated with his position.

“It has become clear that the daily management demands of both ships have moved progressively and significantly beyond the confines of White Star Operations,” Isman said. “Management oversight of the Olympic and Titanic ships includes an ever-expanding set of requirements in areas of public and community relations, effective
passenger and stakeholder relations, resource allocation, budget controls and steamship market development.”

“Captain Smith will actively participate in the Titantic Task Force, along with other White Star executive staff, and will take an active role in determining service levels from other divisions at the two ships for which he has accountability,” Isman added.

All other reporting relationships at the two ships remain unchanged.

***
While not quite worthy of the Onion, it’s certainly worthy of my blog. Thanks for the chuckle, Ontario Anonymous. Oh, and good luck to both Jess Romo and Captain Smith on their promotions!

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  • DebB

    I guess the big question is — which airport is the Titanic and which the Olympic?

  • http://empoprise-ie.blogspot.com/ John E. Bredehoft

    But Celine Dion isn’t from Ontario. She’s from Quebec.