7 warning signs your girlfriend might not exist

(With apologies to Manti Te’o.)

7. Never picks up the check.

6. Forgets your anniversary.

5. She never introduces you to her imaginary friends.

4. You go on a couples cruise. You’re charged the singles rate.

3. Frequently find yourself asking her, “Is everything okay? You seem distant.”

2. You can’t get no satisfaction. No no no. Hey hey hey. That’s what I say.

And the top warning sign your girlfriend might not exist:

1. She dies of cancer and you feel nothing. Nothing!
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  • Ramona

    8. You talk to them constantly and get no answers. Maybe this explains my situation. My gentleman friend is imaginary!

    Or maybe I’ve entered my dotage and I am really talking to myself.

    Real or not, that gentleman friend is a comfort. Cheap, sure. But a comfort nonetheless. He doesn’t eat much and he doesn’t snore.

    Talking out loud helps me resolve situations. I’m just gonna keep on believing there’s someone there.

  • http://empoprise-bi.blogspot.com/ John E. Bredehoft (Empoprises)

    9. Your girlfriend agrees with everything you say.