Recently in Photo Funnies Category

This epicurean epigram is painted inside Classy Cafe in Rancho Cucamonga.

On Foothill Boulevard just east of Towne Avenue in Claremont, some agency, rather than replace the faded sign pointing to the 10 Freeway, simply posted a nice new one several feet behind the old one. I guess sign removal must be done by a different agency.

This bus shelter ad in Ontario seems to boast of bringing a child to term a month early, at first blush (to use the term literally). But it's really about completing some sort of medical degree. Seen at Vineyard Avenue and D Street.

I believe the insurance lizard was telling us he was "in Ontario" before he was rudely interrupted by a banner. Seen on Vineyard Avenue at D Street.

At a stoplight in Ontario recently, I spotted this security company's van and snapped this picture. Unusual slogan. I wonder what the "7,000 teeth" part means? Is it one tooth per volt?

Dollars to doughnuts this used to be a Winchell's. In this economy, better to recycle an old sign than buy a fresh one, I guess. Spotted in Victorville by John Evans.

In SoCal, this should be a popular place. This insurance office is located off the 10 Freeway in Claremont, handy if you want protection before you enter the onramp. If you need surface street insurance, you'll have to keep looking.

I wonder what it's like inside the Freeway Insurance office. My guess is the Muzak is talk radio. OK, your turn.

This is the latest in our insurance name series, which so far encompasses insurance for gladiators and safaris and hammers.

The pickup seems to be attempting to blend into the African veldt. But it's in downtown La Verne, where it stands out even with a leafy tree as a backdrop.

On vacation in St. Louis, I noticed a butcher's window with these unrelated -- or are they? -- signs. Seen at Soulard Farmers Market, where the slogan is "Since 1779."

Who says newspapermen never print any good news? This candy bar was purchased at Galco's Soda Pop Stop in Highland Park, which specializes not only in bottled sodas but in obscure candies. (It's where I bought a Clark Bar for Ray Bradbury for his Pomona appearance, for instance.)

With the name Good News, how could I resist buying one?

Good News wasn't nutritious, by the way, but it was delicious.

An unusual, but vivid, accommodation is offered at the L.A. County Fair.

The valley holds surprises everywhere you look. For instance, this narrow storefront would seem to be the nerve center for two mighty industries. Seen on North Garey Avenue in Pomona.

(Extra credit if you know the origin of the expression referred to in the headline.)

I saw this restaurant sign in L.A.'s Koreatown neighborhood and can only assume the three words mean something different, and more appetizing, in the Korean language.

* Reader Bob Terry asked a Korean friend for a translation of Soot Bull Jeep, which came back Charcoal Fire House. OK, that makes sense.

Claremont, unwelcoming? Ridiculous. We'd love to have you. Just leave by sundown. Seen on Foothill Boulevard at Monte Vista Avenue, but also on other city-limits signs.

(To be fair, there's a Tree City USA placard below the "No Parking" sign, but that's not as funny.)

A sign reading "Urgent Care" seems to point to one in a series of dilapidated, fenced-off stone buildings on Base Line Road near the 210 Freeway in Claremont. Rather than a political statement, the sign refers to a clinic on Monte Vista Avenue.

This dry cleaner offers "full quality service" but is candid enough to admit that 1 percent of its work may fall short. Spotted on Garey Avenue in Pomona.

Some of us from the Bulletin newsroom went to the Los Angeles Times one recent evening for a Facebook-for-journalism workshop. Afterward we lingered in the building's First Street-side lobby, which is open to the public and has a timeline, memorabilia and a giant globe. It also has a linotype machine, seen at left, and a plate of hot type used to make a front page in 1974.

Strangely, though, the plaques on each were reversed. The plaque on the linotype machine reads "This is the last plate of hot type set at the Los Angeles Times..." The plaque on the hot-type display begins "This is a linotype machine..."

Get me rewrite!

One wonders how long the plaques have been switched, and how many visitors to the Times on educational tours have left the lobby thoroughly confused ... or chuckling, like me.

Robert Alderete forwards this photo from Base Line Road and Sierra Avenue in Fontana, where the gas pricing was apparently caught in mid-alteration. "A sign we'd like to see," Alderete says with a sigh.

An unexpectedly classical name graces an Upland minimall at Arrow Route and Central Avenue. These days Upland's political fortunes would give the philosopher plenty to think about. A can of Bud Ice might help.

"Learn to Fly Here!" reads the sign by the kiddie plane ride at La Verne's Brackett Field. An impressed Dwight Siebert, who shot the photo, says: "Only 50 cents!"

This repair shop in Pomona at Monterey and White avenues evidently specializes in troubled vehicles.

Racy but harmless double-entendres on contractors' trucks are a small fascination of mine. In my Sonoma County days, an electrician memorably vowed, "We look into your shorts," with the two O's in "look" having pupils that seemed to peer downward. Meanwhile, a tiler's fleet promised: "We lay anything."

I haven't seen anything quite that funny since, but the slogan of Smitty's Plumbing, on a truck spotted recently in Upland, is either No. 1 or No. 2 with me.

Spotted recently in Arcadia, a sign for a store that appears to be advertising its close-by location.

Uh, where exactly? In the bushes? Seen at the Claremont Packing House. They shouldn't tease me like this.

(The sign was probably meant to point inside to the Claremont Forum, which among other things sells used books.)

On a weekend jaunt that took me to Canoga Park's Topanga Canyon Boulevard recently, I was startled by this billboard for one of my favorite series. The racy tagline refers to Episode 107, "The Fusilli Jerry," as reader Bob Terry could probably have told us. Blame or credit goes to KDOC, "Seinfeld's" new home. Here's the relevant clip:

Under the subject line "The age of specialization," reader Tony Abbott emailed this photo and remarked: "This appears to be a special doorbell button for print journalists!"

This sign has been stopping people in their tracks at Yale and Second in the Claremont Village in recent weeks. I saw a chuckling passerby take a photo of it on a recent afternoon and decided to take one myself. It's outside the Diamond Center and the fine print refers to the store's policy of a free evaluation of the head of any diamond ring.

* Owner Ray Lantz emailed to say: "It's amazing how many people comment on, photograph or walk in because of the sign. We never thought bringing attention to jewelry maintenance would be so fun."

On the plaza outside Panera Bread at Haven and Foothill, what appear to be 2,000-year-old Roman columns are going down without a fuss. Well, people are always complaining that Rancho Cucamonga has no respect for its history...

Spotted on Upland's portion of Central Avenue, an intriguing mix of tenants. Any ideas for the vacant spaces?

Seen in Chino on Grove Avenue at Eucalyptus, a request for "clean dirt." Good luck with that.

On the streets of Mexico City, a few blocks from the Zocalo, I saw this hip-high figure outside a restaurant. I took a photo because it looked awfully familiar.

And sure enough, there's a chef's figure on the counter at Nancy's Cafe in Rancho Cucamonga, not to mention a life-sized version outside the Local Baker in Upland. They're almost as prolific as garden gnomes.

Not long after being sent a photo of Restaurant Chino by a reader visiting the Dominican Republic, I was strolling in Mexico City and found Restaurante Los Angeles. That's a nice Dodger blue awning. I didn't check the menu to see if they serve bacon-wrapped hot dogs.

An apartment complex in Pomona promises a window upgrade that sounds needlessly aggressive. I've heard of window valances, but window violences?

(Aaron Burr's infliction of pain during a duel with Alexander Hamilton can be studied here.)

Yep, there's a vacancy at Rancho Cucamonga's New Kansan Motel, all right: between the O and the E.

Ron and Lori Kunzi found this dumb and dumber sign behind the Talent Factory in Chino.

Upland native Matt Krupnick found a bit of home while vacationing in the Dominican Republic.

A new Montclair mattress store's name would seem to promise a smooth, uninterrupted eight-hour ride through Slumberland. Jet-lagged from vacation, I would love to board the sleep train. Perhaps the dining car serves warm milk.

Rancho Cucamonga has some nifty new-ish directional signs around town (see below). But the other day I was startled to notice one that's missing all its arrows. Ironically, it's near Arrow on Archibald. Just drive aimlessly, citizens; you'll find the Police eventually.

This Valentine's message was seen on Monday evening on a block wall on North Garey Avenue at Grove Street in Pomona behind a bus stop. Does Karla get off the bus there? To the relief of graffiti removal crews, she must have responded orally rather than by spray-painting "yes."

If memory serves, this shop at Base Line and Carnelian in Rancho Cucamonga used to be named Water and Ice. (* Or maybe it was only The Water Store.) The name upgraded a year or so back to Coffee and Water. (Next door, incidentally, is a smoke shop.)

Coffee and Water sounds like a good place to take a blind date, especially if you're cheap ("two waters, please").

But what will the next incarnation be? Perhaps the storefront will focus on catering to convicts, under the name Bread and Water.

While we're being silly, anyone want to suggest other possible combinations/clientele?

As a wage slave in a fabric-covered box myself, I knew I had to see "Cubicle," an exhibit at Pomona's dA Center for the Arts (on view through Feb. 1). The paintings and photos are cool, but even moreso are the two mock ceramic cubicles, each object within made from terra cotta by Jon Ginnaty. Each piece is for sale, from pens ($14.99) to computer ($599.99, a price that includes a "complimentary mouse pad").

Want a clean start for the new year? Here's one way (literally).

James Rodriguez of Fontana looked out his window recently while on the 210 Freeway in Upland to find the CEO of Jack in the Box on his motorcycle. Rodriguez said the two of them both exited at Irwindale Avenue. He added: "I don't know how he did the front of the helmet to see out of."

To mark Boxing Day, here's an Anglophile's license plate, spotted recently in Claremont.

Photo: John Valenzuela

On Rancho Cucamonga's Thoroughbred Lane, a tourist attraction at Christmastime because of the lavish decorations, a homeowner has posted a "Keep Off the Grass" sign in English, Spanish and Korean Chinese. They really, really want you to stay off their lawn.

Driving on Base Line in Rancho Cucamonga recently, I was startled to see a sign for a driving school that seemed to be named Baldy Driving. Hard not to take it personally. Hey, we drive the same as everyone else (poorly)!

A return visit to take a photo revealed the fine print invisible to motorists: the name is really Baldy View Driving.

View? Phew. All right, carry on.

Commendably reversing the trend of communication that looks like texting, a "For" has been placed atop the "4" in this Rancho Cucamonga sign.

True, Cash for Checks rather than Checks for Cash would seem to make even better sense, but first things first.

I'm often impressed by the punny names of hair salons, but as a bald man, I especially like this one. Seen on 4th Street in Rancho Cucamonga.

"I'm so glad the City of Upland told me what this street-like thing is called," reports a relieved Lois Robbins, who documented the sign for posterity and sent the photo along. She must've known it would be right up my alley.

Photo by Will Plunkett

A Rancho Cucamonga City Council candidate lost at least one vote due to dubious punctuation in her campaign signs, which made her seem to be questioning her own trustworthiness (perhaps getting the jump on cynical voters disinclined to trust any politician).

"I was wary of someone who'd want me to 'trust' them in government. Just what does quote-unquote 'trust' mean?" reader Will Plunkett wonders.

Unnecessary quotation marks, incidentally, are the subject of a blog and a spinoff book. Pretty "cool."

In Loma Linda, reader Brent Basinger of Alta Loma spotted this sign for what appears to be a highly specialized business.

This billboard in Pomona appeals for votes for Jafar, the bad guy in the "Aladdin" movies, as favorite Disney villain, but it may strike cynics as a commentary on the hold-your-nose choices facing voters this political season. Hey, Jafar isn't perfect, but at least he likes birds...

Where? All the way next door? "It's pretty obvious the sign isn't needed," says a friend, rolling her eyes, after shooting this photo in the Claremont Packing House.

Photo: Stephanie Estrada

The Mission Promenade complex in downtown Pomona may be positioning itself to compete with the Miss Pomona pageant.

A residence on Archibald Avenue in Rancho Cucamonga is flying his or her flags proudly, all four of them: U.S., Dallas Cowboys, Texas state and L.A. Angels. Finally, at the bottom, an acknowledgment of California! The expatriate Texan must not think much of the Texas Rangers.

Claremont reader Ron Scott saw this sight at his apartment complex recently. He found the young woman involved and asked how this happened. "She thought she had it in reverse," he reports.

In advance of tonight's Pomona City Council meeting, let me point out that a hand sanitizer was recently installed in the lobby of the Council Chambers. Either the place is awash in germs, or Pomona is trying to clean up city government, one palm at a time.

If they are, let's give them a hand -- or two.

Photo: Jennifer Cappuccio Maher

It used to say "Newspaper," but this recycling container at Portland International Airport, shot during my summer vacation, seems to be missing some letters. Ever since, I've thought of myself as a news ape.

Seen in Hollywood recently, a club that evidently has an exclusive clientele: the owner.

Costco in Montclair thanks customers in advance for wearing multiple shirts and one shoe. Hmm.

"What if this wasn't a typo?" wonders my colleague Wendy Leung, who took the photo on a recent shopping expedition (in which she, and no doubt everyone else in the store, violated the rule).

She adds: "I guess the good news is, if you break a heel while shopping, you'd be all right. But if you're not one for wearing layers, you'd better carry an extra shirt in case they enforce this law."

Why make a new sign when you can keep clarifying the old one? Seen in a restaurant in south Ontario.

The charming "sign" for El Roble school in Claremont seems to be ailing. Either that, or the school has changed its name to "El Rolli."

Something doesn't add up on this phone at the Upland Metrolink station, notes reader Maria Tello, who contributed the photo. She says: "I did not know that Upland had two 3's and no 4's!"

This banner on an Upland discount store is visible -- perhaps too visible -- to motorists along the 10 Freeway at Mountain Avenue. (The "Happiness Guaranteed!" slogan is a nice touch.) I don't know about the prices, but based on the banner, apparel appears to be half off. Doesn't the store sell tops?

Reader Bob Terry found the business Claremont Glass and Mirror of Upland just where you'd expect: the 8500 block of Vineyard Avenue in Rancho Cucamonga.

This is what it's come to: Vandals are now tagging quarters. I found this in my change recently.

I know we're living in a throwaway society, but that was never more clear than after Claremont emblazoned its trash trucks with a pro-consumption slogan.

Out and about on Wednesday afternoon, I drove east on Nevada Street in Ontario from Sultana Avenue to get a look at demolition of the Sunkist plant, saw that the street dead-ended and turned around.

In the meantime, three chickens had crossed to the middle of the road. Not a sight you see every day, or even any day, so I shot this photo through my windshield.

I was hoping the chickens would cross to the other side and then give me an exclusive interview as to why, but they scuttled back to the north side. Looked like they live there -- there was a fenced lot with a gate standing open and a man inside working.

The "open during construction" sign at the Old Schoolhouse center in Claremont could stand to make an "alteraton" to the Cactus Glasswork name, which is missing a couple of crucial letters. In the meantime, be careful sitting down!

This long-lived Montclair restaurant isn't kidding around, despite what its name implies. I suppose if it ever closes, the sad headline would be "No Fu Lin."

This sign in L.A.'s Pershing Square isn't as limited as it thinks.

Update: "This sign about covers it," remarks LA Observed.

Gibbs Street in Pomona last week got street humps, one of which has a jarring spelling.
Thanks to reader Don Stockwell for the tip.

This Pomona insurance agency might be perfect for anyone prone to hitting their thumb while pounding nails.

In a troubling sign for our 401(k)s, a Montclair clothing store named the New Bonds has gone out of business. Uh-oh.

Apparently the new bonds are no more stable than the old bonds.

Photo: Will Plunkett

Reader Will Plunkett of Rancho Cucamonga noticed this lineup of everything-under-the-(desert)-sun recycling containers while visiting Death Valley and wondered about the one at the far left. He asks: "Is this the mysterious way California will help its struggling economy, with an unknown product?"

In Rancho Cucamonga, you can have instant prestige. All you need is an address on Prestige Court.

A downtown Pomona restaurant's attempt to go 24/3 on weekends seems to have fallen short by four hours and one day. Well, it was a nice try.

Photo by Marc Campos

This weight-loss sign is strangely, or perhaps strategically, placed on Carnelian Avenue in Rancho Cucamonga in front of a McDonald's.

If you're stuck for what to do on Dec. 31, 2010, it looks like the Fox Theater in Pomona has you covered. As for Dec. 31, 2009, you may be on your own.

Stopped at a red light Tuesday on southbound Central Avenue at Mission Boulevard, I noticed a sobering economic indicator: a strip club is now employing sign spinners.

Apparently not even lap dances are recession-proof.

Click the comment tab to put your own spin on this.

Faithful readers know the L.A. County Fair, which ends Sunday, is one of my favorite people places in the Inland Valley. Here are a few of the sillier things I saw this year.

This stand's extremely literal name could be the official theme of this year's fair, where even bacon could be found "smothered in chocolate."

Heck, even otherwise-healthy vegetables weren't safe. Do you think anyone put butter, mayo and salt on chocolate-covered corn?

Used to be that SoCal had lots of buildings shaped like the product they sold. Nice to see that look return, below, with a coffee stand shaped like a giant coffee pot.

Ah, the Ultimate Sushi Masker, just in time for Halloween. What would the Fair be without a misspelled sign or two? Whoever made this sign should have masked this error.

Unlike the real Fox Theater in Pomona, the miniature version at the Garden Railroad developed an enormous (scale-wise) cobweb. I love the Garden Railroad, btw.

Best of both worlds. Maybe the ice cream is served on a giant turkey leg.

Did you see anything this year that tickled your funnybone or otherwise delighted you?

Spotted at the L.A. County Fair on Friday evening. 'Nuff said.

This clock shop in Petaluma has the local time right, although when it comes to the time in New York, Chicago and Denver, the store draws a blank.

Maybe I've seen Jim Erwin's photo in our news pages once too often, but the San Bernardino County political figure suddenly reminded me of the "Dick Tracy" comic strip villain Littleface Finny from 1941.

This pavement marker would be a good spot for a DUI checkpoint. The view is to the south on College Avenue at Arrow Highway in Claremont. The crosswalk lines aren't much straighter.

...that is the question. Says reader Dennis Sampson of Ontario, who lives in one of the lofts downtown southwest of Holt and Euclid: "I had often wondered why this parking lot on Emporia was always so empty. Then, I took a close look at the sign and it all made sense. Or did it?"

A reader wonders why a company is trying to sell him solar panels if it thinks his home already has them.

On my way to Masala Bowl in Chino Hills the other day, I spotted an insurance office seemingly tailored to Russell Crowe.

That reminded me of an Ontario insurance office that apparently targets that subset headed off to Africa with pith helmets, guns and native bearers. At least the insurance looks affordable.

However, my hopes of a trifecta of oddly named insurance offices was thwarted when a visit to the Mountain Green center in Upland revealed that Survival Insurance is no more. Survival Insurance didn't survive? A sobering note for us all.

This stop sign in Upland near Foothill and Mountain has its message painted over. Officially? Unofficially? Unsure what to do, I stopped anyway.

The name of this gas station in Blythe, Calif., seems to be pulling our leg, if not our finger. I shot this while en route to Phoenix.

For families that like to shout across the dinner table, a "dinning" room set would be perfect. I walked past this East Holt Avenue store after seeing the president last week -- and did a double-take.

30 to 60 percent off shoes and feet? This Rancho Cucamonga closeout sale sounds like the economic equivalent of frostbite.

The time and temperature sign at PFF Bank in downtown Ontario flashed a possibly-telling message one night last week.

Oddly enough, a reader told me several years back about a PFF sign flashing a "con" message. It seems to be the default when the sign isn't working properly. Somehow it has a more subversive meaning these days.

I hate to say the Inland Empire housing market is in the toilet, but this sign for the former Trump Realty office in Rancho Cucamonga would seem to prove it. No ifs, ands or buts.

What a difference a letter makes, as this sweet message at a florist's shop in La Verne becomes something more pungent. Says the friend who tipped me off to the sign: "One colleague said he was going to take a picture and send it to his wife on Valentine's Day. I said he needed to include an image of Gabe Kaplan."

So much for shanghaiing unwary sailors. This employment agency on Holt Boulevard just west of Euclid Avenue in Ontario appears to take a more professional approach to filling vacancies. There is, seriously, a skull and crossbones on a wall inside, but the sign was harder to read from that angle.

This is the biggest 2008 I've seen. And after the up-and-down year we've had, maybe the location (on North Garey Avenue in Pomona) is appropriate somehow.

No, Ontario doesn't have a Moutain Street. This tile shop on Mountain Avenue is presumably better at fitting tile than in fitting all the letters in Mountain into a cramped space. The mistake is repeated on the other side of the building.

"Moutain" -- which I would pronounce "moo-tahn" -- doesn't mean anything, to my knowledge, but the word reminds me of poutain, the Canadian version of French fries that comes with cheese curds and brown gravy. Wonder if the Chaffey brothers would have liked that?

PFF Bancorp is likely to merge with another bank and lose its independence after 116 years. A missing letter at the 16th and Mountain branch in Upland seems to provide commentary.

Tired of attorneys who nod their head but don't listen? That apparently isn't a problem in Claremont.

Can't sleep? How about sleeping permanently? These dueling billboards on West Foothill Boulevard in Upland constitute a cautionary tale. File them in the Be Careful What You Wish For category.

For two neighboring businesses on Claremont's Indian Hill Boulevard, it's fire vs. water. If you stagger out of the first with a fire within, the second would seem well-equipped to douse it. Although you might not appreciate their angle of attack.

(Actually, A Fire Within is a pottery studio. Colonics is just what you think it is.)

The photo was taken by me but was suggested by Marshall Taylor, the mayor's husband. Um, did you want credit for that, Mr. Taylor?