You might as well laugh: Day 3 of the Winter Meetings, for anyone who missed it.

True story: My wife and I share a birthday. Same exact date, three hours apart to the minute.

Wednesday was our birthday. We didn’t get to spend the day together last year. This year, a simple dinner would do. So I told my editor months ago that I was booking a three-night stay at the Winter Meetings hotel, then taking off Wednesday night. Play it by ear Thursday.

I pulled out of San Diego with the Jimmy Rollins trade still simmering, not looking like it would be resolved Wednesday, and Dee Gordon and Dan Haren firmly about to become Marlins. Checked with sources, felt good about the story, filed it at a Starbucks in Temecula, barely caught wind of the Brandon McCarthy signing before I turned off my iPhone. Because no good husband would constantly check his iPhone looking at sports news or doing work stuff during the birthday dinner.


In case you missed it, this is how possibly the greatest one-day roster makeover in the history of the Dodgers franchise unfolded:

7:51 a.m. Dee Gordon begins his team-sponsored field trip to Union Elementary School in downtown Los Angeles. This isn’t his last photo in a Dodger uniform, but it’s close:

12:05 p.m.: Angels manager Mike Scioscia, giving his first interview of the Winter Meetings, makes an Airplane! joke.

Stupid tweet by me. The day is just getting started.

2:05 p.m. I’m eating lunch with Scioscia when Buster Olney tweets that Jimmy Rollins, who’s been with his current team longer than any active major league player, is no longer a Phillie. He’s a Dodger.

Makes sense. Shortstop Watch began when Hanley Ramirez signed with the Red Sox. That was back on November 23, which in today’s never-ending stream of news feels like the days of dot matrix printer spools and HyperCard. After Farhan Zaidi outlined what the Dodgers were looking for in a shortstop on Tuesday, Rollins sounded like a perfect fit. But no one knows what the return is for Rollins, so there’s nothing else to report on this front, one of few things that does not change the rest of the day.

3:00 p.m. Gordon attends his second team-sponsored community relations event of the day, a re-opening of a Little League field in San Fernando. At some point during this visit he gets a phone call that results in what might be the last photo ever taken of Gordon in a Dodgers uniform.

3:00 p.m. Scott Boras is beginning his annual Winter Meetings scrum.

Within a few minutes after Boras said that Barry Zito is getting “widespread interest,” I’m able to confirm that the Dodgers have not expressed any interest in Barry Zito.

3:08 p.m. Pat Neshek tells Evan Drellich of the Houston Chronicle that the Dodgers offered him the most money before he signed with the Astros. Shortstop Watch ends. Middle Relief Watch begins.

3:12 p.m. A conference call with Don Mattingly that’s scheduled for 3:30 is now scheduled for 3:40. Are they going to keep pushing this back until the Rollins deal is official?

Oh, wait …

3:18 p.m.

3:22 p.m.

3:40 p.m. Mattingly begins his call by telling us he can’t comment on the Jimmy Rollins or Dee Gordon trades because they’re not official. “I’ve been on the phone a little bit with Andrew throughout the course of the day,” he says. If his 10-day-old baby isn’t already keeping him awake …

3:41 p.m. Nobody is asking Mattingly any questions except for Alanna Rizzo, because the rest of us are all checking Twitter.

3:53 p.m. Mattingly says “there’s a possibility of some big changes.” He should’ve added “Spoiler alert.”

4:01 p.m. Marlins beat writer Clark Spencer has the (correct) details of the Gordon trade:

Really, this is when we know we’re in for a long day. The implications of trading Gordon can be explained away easily — Rollins can lead off, Darwin Barney can play second base — but trading Haren cannot. The Dodgers needed to add starting pitching, and swapping Haren for Andrew Heaney does not achieve this goal. What’s more, Heaney is a rookie — not the type of asset a team in “win-now” mode like the Dodgers would typically target.

So, given Zaidi’s comments Tuesday about getting multiple teams involved in multiple deals, it makes more sense that the Dodgers will try to trade Heaney next. For Rollins? For Cole Hamels?

Guess again, everyone.

4:34 p.m. The Phillies agree to pay a portion of Rollins’ $11 million salary. Old habits die hard.

4:42 p.m. Just when you’re starting to make sense of things, a reminder that Dan Haren might never throw a pitch for Miami.

4:45 p.m. Fifteen minutes before Friedman or Zaidi is scheduled to meet with the media, the meeting is canceled.

4:54 p.m. Your math is about to get more complicated, Eric. Think bigger.

4:54 p.m. Wait, what?

6:19 p.m. Went a whole hour there without a real head-scratcher. Then Diamondbacks GM Dave Stewart says that Matt Kemp would love playing in San Diego and that they talked about it when Stewart was Kemp’s agent. Related: the National League West is a soap opera.

6:24 p.m. We interrupt this American soap opera to bring you a Mexican soap opera.

6:57 p.m. Rumors linking the Dodgers to pitchers James Shields and/or Brandon McCarthy grew legs when it appeared they would save money in the Haren/Gordon trade. Then, this:

7:24 p.m. I have an email out to Rojas. He hasn’t gotten back to me when I discover I might have been scooped:

8:23 p.m. Scooped again. Actually, I didn’t see this one coming:

8:59 p.m. Haren writes via email: “I have been notified of the trade to Miami. My strong desire to remain in the Southern California area has been well-documented. I will have to evaluate my options carefully before making my decisions.”

9:12 p.m.: Andrew Heaney wins the Larry Yount Award for shortest tenure with one team.

The quick back story: The Dodgers had been looking at Kendrick for at least two years, even after Gordon claimed the second base job outright in spring training this year. Apparently the desire picked up with the new administration.

9:17 p.m. Dee Gordon’s iPhone is down to 28 percent, and it looks like he’s been informed of the trade:

9:41 p.m. Andrew Heaney salutes Dodgers fans on Twitter:

9:43 p.m. Then Angels fans:

9:49 p.m. Just wondering: does Dan Haren think about LeBron James before he falls asleep every night?

10:06 p.m. Whoa there, Plunk. Not done yet.

10:13 p.m. Scott Van Slyke gets Justin Turner caught up on the latest:

10:30 p.m. A press conference with Andrew Friedman announcing one or more trades is supposed to begin. It does not.

10:33 p.m. The Angels issue a release saying they have acquired Andrew Heaney from the Dodgers in exchange for Howie Kendrick. Interesting, since the Dodgers have not announced that they own the rights to Andrew Heaney.

10:36 p.m. The Dodgers issue a release saying they have traded for Heaney. Gordon, Haren, Rojas and a player to be named later or cash to Miami. The seven-player trade is official.

11:54 p.m. The Dodgers designate catcher Ryan Lavarnway for assignment. If you include the Rollins and McCarthy deals, which aren’t official, that’s the 13th player the Dodgers have moved in roughly 10 hours.

11:55 p.m. Andrew Friedman arrives at the lectern for his press conference. He is smiling a knowing smile. While he sleeps soundly, knowing his staff has put a lasting stamp on the Dodgers organization in less than one day, we’ll all be chasing Matt Kemp details into the wee hours of the morning.