Today it’s audition number seven and I’m ready. I walk into the Legion Hall armed with my acoustic guitar, three swords, an assistant who I call my Official Entourage and a big smile. I may not win, but I’m confident I will at least keep my coveted spot and continue my ongoing runner-up reign.
I sign in and Valerie, my Entourage, picks out my number. 666. I laugh because it’s almost daring the judges to pick me. Hey, it’s rock and roll and it’s irreverent and – for you wussies out there – shocking, which means it’s perfect for me!
Next, I mingle with the judges, bribing them with Hershey’s Kisses and trying to find out what questions they may have. I also take the time to speak with my fellow contestants and wish them good luck (but politely leaving out the part about how much luck they’re gonna need with me in the ring). Oh yeah. I’m more than ready now.
We line up outside the hall and are sent in the line – kinda like school kids, only rowdier – to the back of the building. By the Dumpster. Somehow it’s oddly appropriate…