I'm here for the Oscars

Here, as in the Daily News HQ, in the bowels of the Jack Kent Cooke Memorial Hall, or, as it's known to everybody else who works here, 21221 Oxnard St.

The one awards show the Features Copy Desk works is the Oscars, and I'm listening to Al Gore do comedy -- he got a big-ass laugh for pretending to annouce his candidacy for president while the band began playing him off.

Funny stuff, Al. Remember -- Hillary has too many negatives, Obama's gonna fold like a cheap card table when the pressure gets too tough, and Edwards ... hell, he's nobody compared to you Al. So if "An Inconvenient Truth" does win the Oscar for best documentary, get on up there with Davis Guggenheim and announce your little heart out. Then it's time for "Presidential Celebrity Fit Club," to get in fightin' form and then ... on to the White House, baby.

Should I feel so moved as to post again on the Oscars, look for it -- and so much more -- at the Red Carpet blog.