Recently in Starbucks Category

It's the economy, stupid. And in response, Starbucks is starting a "rewards program." Earth to Seattle: We've been in shit soup for more than two years now. (And while I'm at it, ain't nobody gonna pay nearly $1 for single serving of instant coffee. What are you thinking?)

It looks like the Sbux brain trust realized nobody was going for that stupid pay-extra "Gold" card, and they're now admitting that it was a big bag of BS and offering that same privilege to anybody who makes 30 purchases with a "regular" Starbucks card.

The upside is that with every 15 uses of your Sbux card you get a free drink. And 30 uses ups you into the Gold ranks, the benefits of which still elude me. You get coupons and this: A "Personalized Gold Card - We'll send you a special Starbucks Card that recognizes you are one of our favorite customers."

Lipstick, meet pig.

My immediate question/issue: Do you have to buy 30 drinks before you start getting the 1 free drink every 15 drinks deal? That looks like the way it is. Does anybody vet this crap before they release it on a downtrodden public?

What really irks me about this announcement is that SBux is making it look like after five uses you get all these magical benefits that you used to get with using the card only once in any given month:

• Free Wi-Fi - Up to 2 Continuous Hours a Day
• Free Beverage Customization
• Free Refills on Brewed Coffee
• Free Beverage with Whole Bean Purchase
• Free Trial Offers

Let's see ... instead of using the card once in a month, I have to use it FIVE times? Hopefully that'll be it ... they won't reset the "five times" meter every month. That way I can get my free WiFi, refills and "customization" in perpetuity. Is that how it is? I'm OK with that, but they're making it look like it's something special and new, which it isn't.

If only Coffee Bean went back to their free drink with every x number of purchases program. (It's been so long that I can't remember how many punches you needed on your card before the free flowed.)

My analysis: Starbucks is running scared. This smells of roasted desperation.

Photo by Boris from his Flickr page released under a Creative Commons license.

I won't go into excruciating detail about the Daily News' recent move after about 20 years on Oxnard Street in Warner Center to the shared but infinitely fancier confines of the nearby Warner Gateway office park (where Owensmouth Avenue meets the Ventura Freeway), what with the clean carpets, lack of grime on everything we didn't bring with us (meaning there's still plenty of grime to be had), and actual windows.

But there's one thing I will talk about:

Better coffee.

The Organic to Go company has a little cafe on "campus" (is that the right word for this grouping of buildings?) and while the place looks pretty nice, the employees are friendly (especially the ever-cheerful Damon) and the food looks OK (haven't had more than a bagel thus far), the one thing Damon and Co. do absolutely right is coffee.

All I'm saying is that the coffee at Organic to Go rocks extremely hard.

I had the Peru blend today, and it rivals the dark roasts at both Coffee Bean (Organic's is less bitter but still full-flavored) and Starbucks (which, if you follow this blog, you know is gutting the very core of its business with its insistence on pushing the mild, nondescript Pike Place Roast in place of its signature dark blends).

And best of all, at $1.80 for a large coffee, Organic to Go's coffee is not only better but cheaper than that at both S*Bucks and Coffee Bean.

Wait ... it gets better.

Organic to Go even has one of those "Buy 10 get 1 free" cards, which Starbucks never had and Coffee Bean abandoned at least two years ago, if I remember correctly (and I very well may not).

So yes, the moles of the Los Angeles Daily News have a clean carpet, phones not caked with two decades' accumulated grime, no rat traps under my desk (and yes, years ago I did unwittingly grab one — rat included — while looking for an errant pen on the floor), bathrooms with no-touch fixtures that'll probably save me six communicable diseases per year and real windows to the outside world (which here includes quite a few trees).

Still, nothing beats good coffee.

The Google Map set up by the Seattle Times to track Starbucks closings across the country has another L.A.-area Starbucks that is reportedly slated to close:

820 Montana Ave, Santa Monica, CA
According to a Seattle Times reader.

Again, this is unconfirmed, but I can see that happening, because there's literally two Starbucks on every block on Montana Avenue. There's a busy one on Montana and 7th Street, so 820 Montana is a mere block away.

Deep in the comments at Starbucks Gossip, I learned:

Today I heard in Burbank CA, Victory and Empire was closing, but the manager doesn't even know yet. I am in a neighboring district and found out before her. that sux.

That would be this outlet:

Victory & Empire, Burbank
1711 North Victory Place
Burbank, CA 91502
818-843-3979

A few more of these and I might start a map of my own. Until then, there's the Google Map started by the Seattle Times.

View Larger Map

Hey, my buddy Jason Kandel isn't the only guy who knows how to use these interactive maps. The Seattle Times has one that is designed to show as many of the 600-odd Starbucks locations slated to close in the mega-chain's current downsizing.

So far the map, which relies on reports from baristas and others in the know, only has about 10 locations. I'll be keeping an eye out for when it starts to fill out, and I'll let you know what I find.

Go here for the full map, along with a note on each alleged Starbucks closure. ... Or just look at the map above. Thanks Google and Seattle Times!

Update: A new source of Starbucks closure information is the Starbucks Closing blog.

As always, the best place to take Starbucks' pulse is Starbucks Gossip.

California will not escape when it comes to Starbucks closures, according to this missive from Convenience Store News (that's a publication — can you believe it?):

Starbucks officials said the closures are happening in "all major U.S. markets" between late July and March. Florida and California are among the largest states affected, spokeswoman Valerie O'Neil told Bloomberg News.

There were 2,496 stores in California and 625 in Florida in March. Those two states have been especially hard hit by the real-estate downturn and credit crisis.

I roll into Starbucks a bit after 9. There's barely any line at all.

I ask for the venti drip, dark roast.

They actually have it.

The guy fills the cup, gives it to me, runs my Starbucks card through the register, I put in the half-and-half and I'm out.

And yes, it was good for me, too.

I'll let you, the reader, ponder.

I said it at 7 a.m.:

Placing Pike Place Roast, not just above all other light roasts but above all other kinds of drip coffee is Starbucks' jump the shark moment.

What Starbucks is really saying:

"Drip coffee is a very small part of our business, we have to dump a lot of unused coffee, and profits on drip coffee are small when compared to those of our other beverages. Therefore we can substitute not-very-clever marketing for taste and quality and hope that the coffee-drinking public buys it. If they don't, who cares? We'll save money on an unpopular product, have made our effort and can go back to pushing the espresso-based blended drinks that are our true profit center and passion."

Starbucks Coffee giving up on coffee: It's the company's jump the shark moment.

We were at the Third Street Promenade on Saturday and found ourselves at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.

Now there's a place that always has dark roast brewing ... and never mind that the average Coffee Bean light roast is way better than the average Starbucks light roast.

Cancel that. There is no other light roast at Starbucks other than Pike Place Roast.

Not that I care, since I always choose dark above light.

But if Coffee Bean stays committed to coffee — in a way that Starbucks is not, that says a lot.

It's funny, saying that Starbucks has abandoned coffee, the beverage. But it's pretty much true.

What I'm really saying: Placing Pike Place Roast, not just above all other light roasts but above all other kinds of drip coffee is Starbucks' jump the shark moment.