In defense of ‘Jumpin’ Jack Flash’

Nostalgia is quite the powerful force.
It can make you look back on the rough periods of your life with
whitewashed longing or convince that you still love something, even
if you know now that it’s crappy.

We all have them, those things we loved
as children that no matter how old we get, or how much smarter are
brains grow, we stubbornly refuse to believe is bad.

For me, “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” is
just one of those things. I first
saw the film when I was 11; my mom borrowed it from a coworker, and
in an unprecedented move, she let me and my sister stay up way past
our bedtimes so we could watch it.

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Backdraft

“Backdraft” has not aged well. Granted, it’s hard to say how well this movie was received when it opened (I’m going to date myself here, but when it hit theaters, I was nine), but it’s been almost twenty years, and what worked back then does not work anymore.

 

Now, that’s not to say it’s a horrible experience – my movie buddy and I have a fabulous time watching it, but it’s not a comedy; we were just having a good laugh at the movie’s expense.

 

“Backdraft,” directed by Ron Howard, is the story of two brothers, Stephen (Kurt Russell) and Brian (William Baldwin). Their dad was a firefighter who was killed in action when the boys were young, and the ‘family business’ both draws and repels them.

Stephen has become a bad-ass but reckless firefighter, while Brian dropped out of the academy earlier in his life, but at the beginning of the film has graduated and finds himself in the same firehouse as his estranged brother.

 

That’s a solid enough story, but then, in a nod to conventionality, the brothers must learn to work together to stop an killer arsonist on the loose.

Sigh. There’s also some other stuff that happens, the effects are pretty cool, but really, there is a bit too much story here to leave room for anything good. “Backdraft” could have been a compelling family drama with a firefighting/tragedy backdrop. Or it could have been a thrilling action picture about a hunt for a dastardly arsonist.

But instead of excelling in any one area, it went and failed at both; “Backdraft” limps to the finish, with every bit of its conventional storytelling weighing it down.

 

Backdraft” (1991)

Written by Gregory Widen

Directed by Ron Howard

Starring: Kurt Russell (Stephen)

William Baldwin (Brian)

‘The Fifth Element’ revisited

While watching Luc Besson’s “The Fifth Element” again, I suddenly remembered the first time I saw it.

I was still in high school, in the summer between 9th and 10th grade. None of us could drive yet, but some friends (Julie, Kristen and Erica) and I planned to meet at the theater that was just down the road (and across a highway) from my house. After playing a human version of “Frogger” across four lanes of traffic (not recommended), I met up with them.

We were giggly and too loud during the wait, and I have no idea what I thought of the movie after watching with them, but that memory of that day is enough for me to give the movie a bit of a break.

And boy, does it need one.

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Ocean’s Thirteen

Man, do I love Steven Soderbergh’s “Ocean’s Eleven.”

It’s a layered but satisfying heist movie, a buddy movie, an easy revenge picture, and an all-around good time. Sure, you’re rooting for the criminals, but that’s what movies are for.

I wish I was reviewing that movie instead.

“Ocean’s Thirteen” is a lot like the first movie; a casino owner, Willy Bank (Al Pacino, mugging it up as usual), has wronged Reuben Tishkoff (Elliot Gould), the moneybags of the trilogy, nearly killing him, so the band, led by Danny Ocean (George Clooney) and Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt), gets back together to ruin Bank’s newest casino and rob of him of millions.

To do that, they’ll have to recruit some new team members, bypass an impossible-to-fool security system, pull off several long-cons, and get out with no traces of their presence (you know, like in every heist movie).

Not a bad setup, but a big part of what made the first story so fun was getting to meet the characters for the first time. Here, we are thrust into the action midstream, and while I normally applaud that sort of thing, here it just feels overdone.

That’s basically my problem with “Thirteen” (and to be fair, “Ocean’s Twelve” too). We’ve seen what came before, we’ve watched them pull off the impossible, and by now we can spot all the tricks coming.

It’s such a waste too; the cast is still solid, but there’s no more fun to be had. The effortless charm of “Eleven” has evaporated, and all we’re left with is a film that’s trying (and failing) to recapture the glory days of the first movie.

Let’s hope there’s not an “Ocean’s Fourteen” around the corner.

“Ocean’s Thirteen” (2007)

Written by Brian Koppelman and David Levien

Directed by Steven Soderbergh

Starring: George Clooney (Danny Ocean)

Brad Pitt (Rusty Ryan)

Al Pacino (Willy Bank)

Reuben Tishkoff (Elliot Gould)

Sherlock Holmes

What a mixed bag of a movie.

On one hand, you get the inspired choices for Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes and Jude Law as Dr. Watson, and Rachel McAdams as Irene Adler, an exceptional criminal and Sherlock’s lady love.

But, on the other hand, you get a weak script, action-movie trappings, and a lot of silly red herrings.

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Alive

In 1972, Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 took off from Montevideo, Uruguay, bound for Chile. The chartered plane was carrying the Uruguayan rugby team, along with their friends and family members, 45 people in total. Cloudy weather and navigation errors led to the plane crashing in the Andes Mountains and stranding the survivors with little food, no heat, and little hope of rescue.

Everyone knows this story (even though I always heard it was a soccer team); everyone has thought about what they would do if forced into that situation. It’s a nightmare scenario that happened to people in real life.

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District 9

Some 20 years ago, a space ship fell out of the sky over South Africa. After days of no contact from the aliens, humans board the ship to discover a million sick and dying aliens. The ship is irreparably damaged, they can’t go home and their technology won’t work for us. What do we do with them now?

 

So begins “District 9,” an ambitious but flawed science-fiction movie.

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“Planet of the Apes” (1968)

Long story short, I really didn’t enjoy “Planet of the Apes.”

I saw the remake on the theater way back in 2001, and while I had fun making fun of it (and nearly got myself kicked out of said theater), I never really felt the need to go back.

But I did. I’m not entirely sorry I watched the original, but this is a film that is so familiar, it almost feels unnecessary to watch it.

There is good potential here, and like all good science-fiction films (and TV shows), “Planet of the Apes” takes the fears of the day and paints a picture of the worst-case scenario. The problem here is that while the message still largely holds up (we are quite capable of destroying everything we are), there is no suspense to this story.

Everybody knows how it ends; the big reveal has long since passed into the pop culture collective unconscious, and while movies aren’t always about the ending, when the journey itself is not that exciting (and at times very heavy handed), it’s hard to get invested in the story.

Like the original “King Kong,” I really would have liked to have seen this when it came out, before it was a massive hit and all the secrets were revealed.

Pop culture backlash really bites.

“Planet of the Apes” (1968)

Written by Michael Wilson and Rod Serling

Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner   

 Starring: Charlton Heston (Taylor)

Roddy McDowall (Cornelius)

Kim Hunter (Zira)

“Stargate” (the movie)

Lately, I’ve been binge watching “Stargate SG-1,” the television series. Since I have liked the show so far (I’m in the middle of the sixth season), I thought it was time to go back to the beginning and watch the movie properly.

I know at some point that I tried to watch this movie; I remembered the beginning, but after that, and after watching the movie altogether, I can see why it was not particularly memorable.

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