Leon (The Professional)

Meet Mathilda (Natalie Portman), one half of the dynamic duo that forms the heart of Luc Bresson’s “Leon” (1994, mostly known in the U.S. as “The Professional”). One day, her family sends her out to buy groceries, and her father, mother, sister and brother are gunned down by the mentally unhinged Stansfield (Gary Oldman) and his buddies. She escapes by taking refuge with a kind neighbor, who takes her in when she has nowhere else to go.

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Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

I can freely admit that I have little-to-no interest in seeing “Terminator: Salvation,” the fourth Terminator film set to hit theaters this summer, but I did have a perverse desire to watch “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines,” the ugly stepchild of the pack (so far).

The film totally, completely deserves that reputation. But, even though T3 is not on par with its predecessors, it’s not awful. Shocker.

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Thoughts on “Blade Runner”

Once again, let’s subvert the formula here; I’m not going to do a straight up review of Ridley Scott’s “Blade Runner.” It’s more of an interpretation of the possibilities.

But first, the story (with spoilers):

Deckard (Harrison Ford) is a retired Blade Runner, a cop/bounty hunter whose purpose is to track down Replicants, robots designed to look human. They’re illegal on Earth, and humans are given free rein to ‘retire’ them.

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A “Dark Knight” endorsement

I’m probably the last person in the country to see “The Dark Knight,” so I figure I don’t need to tell you all to go see it; if you haven’t, you’re missing out, but at this point, I don’t think a review would change anyone’s mind, one way or the other.

So, I’m going to write a different kind of review, one that comes with spoilers. You’ve been warned.

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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

A while back I went with a friend to see the latest, and hopefully last, installment of the Indiana Jones films, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”

All in all, it was not a bad experience. The film is nothing special mind you, but on its own terms, and in relation to the other films in the series, it’s not the worst one of the set (“Temple of Doom”), nor is it the best (“Last Crusade”).

But, to me, the most surprising thing about the entire movie is that there is so little to say about the thing; I enjoyed it, laughed a bit here and there (from both the script and my snarky comments), and I didn’t feel that my friend had wasted his gift certificate on our tickets.

The other shocker about the film is how reviews just don’t make sense in relation to it; the people who are going to see it don’t need a review to convince them, just as people who don’t want to see it won’t be persuaded by a glowing review from anyone, from a friend to (insert any prestigious critic’s name here).

So in short, three cheers for a higher class of brainless summer blockbusters; we need them now more than ever.

And may “Indiana” and Spielberg stop while they’re ahead; we might not be so forgiving next time.