A preview of Rosie as 'Price is Right' host

Rosie O'Donnell is interested in replacing Bob Barker on CBS staple "The Price is Right." Intriguing. Can you imagine how that might play out? I have...

ANNOUNCER: Come on down, you're the next contestant on "The Price is Right"!

(Excited contestant, wearing an American flag T-shirt, runs down)

CONTESTANT: Hi Rosie!

ROSIE: What's with the shirt? Are you just here to rub your little brand of I'm-better-than-you patriotism in my face? I'll bet you voted for George Bush, didn't you? You think that being all proud of America justifies blowing up 1.2 million Iraqis? Did you ever think that the red on your little red, white and blue flag there represents the blood of the innocents from American imperialism? Like the 2 million Iraqis we've killed? Did that Hasselback broad send you??

* * *

ROSIE: OK, now you have to guess the price of this furniture set!

CONTESTANT #2: Umm... ummm.... $5,000!

ROSIE: What, do you think we're made of money? Do you think we'd endorse this nihilistic capitalistic system by featuring that fat-cat of a furniture set? We give them the publicity, you get the furniture, and they'll just probably turn around and give money to George W. Bush while millions of immigrants who are poor because of the Bush administration wait for the chance to make your chi-chi furniture!

* * *

ROSIE: Let's see what's behind the curtain!

CONTESTANT #3: Oh my God, it's a new car!!

ROSIE: That's right, we're giving you this gas-guzzler so you can fatten up the wallets of Big Oil as they rape the people of Iraq who were so much better under that dictator guy!

* * *

CONTESTANT #4: Cool, I get to play "Plinko"!

ROSIE: Who you calling a pinko? What kind of crazy right-wing fascist are you to call my social awareness communist? Did that Hasselback chick tell you to say that??