Original 10 Commandments for Road
The 10 Commandments for Driving from the Vatican are actually translated from a far older document. Tragically, they up-dated the original. Here it is without the up-dates.
1. When saddling ass, make sure it is four-legged variety.
2. Always yield to a Centurian.
3. Speeds of over 5 miles per hour are injurious to thy health and that of thine ass.
4. All roads do not lead to Rome, some go to that bawdy house at Brendisi, which thou knowest well.
5. Middle aged guys do not look younger ridding a sporty ass bedecked in red.
6. Hold thy temper and resist road rage. Remember what Oedipus did when he lost it at an intersection? He killed the other guy—who turned out to be his dad.
7. Cardinal Rule: Always yield to a Bishop.
8. Drink not of the red wine before mounting. A pleasant rosé might be okay.
9. Don’t let your young children ride your ass.
10. Always yield to someone dressed in silks, ermine and gold. Could be someone important or thy wife’s strange cousin Sidney.
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