Titanic Failure

Bridget may be bent out of shape about "Office Space" being snubbed on the AFI top film list, but there is a far greater outrage here. Its name is "Titanic" (No. 83 on the AFI list).

How can any movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio possibly be eligible for such an honor? Let alone one that inflicted an excruciating Celine Dion theme song on the world?

Really, "Titanic" had some awesome effects, but with its stock characters, cliched dialogue, and wretched plot, has there ever been a worse "great" movie? I mean, "Jurassic Park" had some snazzy effects, too, but no serious person would ever think of putting it on any "Best of" list.

Yet what always bugged me most about this overrated abomination was the ending -- spoiler alert for the one person who hasn't seen it. It's when the Kate Winslet character dies and goes to "heaven," where she is greeted not by her husband of half a century, or her kids, or her parents, but ... some guy she did on a boat 80 years ago.

Then again, seeing that she was being sent to spend eternity on the set of this movie, maybe it wasn't Heaven after all, but Hell.