Sen Craig: Hypocrite & Victim

There is so much about the Larry Craig situation that it is hard to know where to start. Yes, it is partially the hypocrisy, the family values fanatic caught in a men’s room or a motel with, well, let’s say an “inappropriate partner.” We love to see the self-righteous fall and be hoisted by their own petard. It is cruel in our nature but all quite natural.

It is also in our nature to preach and rant against the devils in our nature. Those obsessed with faith often lack it. Those who rant endlessly about some form of evil are often tempted by their obsessions. Yeah, it’s all Psych 101 stuff, but none-the-less true.

It is Craig’s rather extreme record that creates the schadenfreude now. He was not just pro family but always took the most extreme position in terms of gays. That is part of the price of the closet—it makes the laddy protest too much. It is virtually a tell, a signal of insecurity.

And that is the other thing that bothers me about this story. What about those signals that must have been sent to the Senator in the men’s room? All this stuff about Senator Craig’s signals—putting his briefcase in door to hide his feet and tapping his feet in a wide stance is certainly news to me. I’ve been going to men’s rooms for 60 odd years now and have never encountered any tap dancing. And I’m a native. I mean I’ve utilized men’s rooms from Venice to West Hollywood. I even lived in Northern California and never, not once, did I see or hear any tap dancing.

I have to believe that the agent, the police officer, had to be doing something too. I don’t know what the signals are, but he was there with a purpose, and that was to find and bust some guy looking for sex. How did he advertise his availability? Was he tapping? Maybe he was singing Broadway show tunes or humming the Judy Garland Songbook.

I’m not sure about the protocol but I’m guessing that the cop was doing a breathy version of Mad About the Boy or You Brought a New Kind of Love to Me, and that set Senator Craig’s little feet a tapping. There had to be some sign and countersign.

So, this naturally raises the question of why we are using cops to sing love songs to gay men in, of all places, our airports? Surely at these high value target locations our limited security and police have better things to do than sit in men’s rooms waiting for someone to randomly pick the stall next to theirs and start tapping.

I have no objection to busting people for soliciting for paid sex. Prostitution does degrade neighborhoods. I have no problems arresting people for having public sex—gay or straight. Hell, even marital sex. After three back surgeries doing it in the back seat with my very own wife is physically out of the question; but were I limber enough and she willing, if caught I would expect to be arrested and charged.

I do think there is world of difference between signaling and soliciting. Is winking in bar a sign, a signal, or a solicitation? Admittedly winking in a men's room would seem to be another matter, but I’m not sure it should legally be different. Unless money was discussed or touching took place, this is a thought crime and a conspiracy to have sex. I am very uncomfortable with sexual thought police. When looking and thinking are crimes, I know I’ll be doing time. I will be very certain neither ti sing nor dance in any public places. For this the world can be grateful.