Hello, Lord, It's Me

Hello, Lord:

It's me. I'm sure you already know, but I am now a minority. Yes, I am a Republican, but I've come to you to ask you to plant some things in my fellow Republicans' noggins to lead us to greener pastures and so no one will be afraid of walking through any valleys.

First, when they talk about the economy and our hourly bread, make sure they let people know that the whole economic mess started when Bill Clinton deregulated the banks in 1993. Clamp their mouths shut or at the very least send down a lightning bolt when they bring up things that happened when Obama was only eight years old. Make anything before 1970 verboten.

Instead, have them ask him why he voted to excuse gang members from the death penalty in 2001 if they killed someone to help their gang, or why he voted against allowing people to use unregistered handguns in their home to ward off intruders in 2004. Plant it in their cerebellums to ask Barack Obama about his friendship with pro-Palestinian activist, Rashid Khalidi or Reverend Wright. He may have said he didn't know what the reverend's philosophies were, but after twenty years of friendship, they must have talked about more than the aluminum siding and sod. I myself wasn't there, but I think you were.

And while we're at it, help them come up with an economic plan that is not only going to benefit their pals and cronies. I know it's slim pickings this time around, but most of all, give us someone who's going to improve this country all the way around, not just give speeches that would make a hardened criminal cry.

Thank you, amen and over and out.