The Foolish Fall of Phelps
No wonder American corporations are in big trouble, filing Chapter 11 (sometimes even Chapter 8) or pleading for bailouts. Once highly independent organizations that were always crying to keep government out of their business, now want Uncle Sam (that means all of us) to save them from their terrible business decisions. Their bankruptcies, of course, also cost us, since by stiffing their creditors, they weaken the banks, and we get the bill for bailing out the banks
While Kellogg Corporation, the maker of Frosted Flakes among other high sugar breakfast cereals, may not have asked for governmental assistance yet, their cultural tone- deafness is emblematic of what is wrong with private enterprise today.
Detroit can't or won't build cars that people want to buy. Major clothing companies can't design and produce fashions that people want to wear. Well, actually that may be the problem. They're designing fashions and not clothing.
Companies have always tried to boost sales with celebrity spokesmen. Sometimes they create a natural synergy Bob Dole and Viagra. Sometimes it doesn't really fit. Bill Clinton and Viagra would just be wrong. Some aren't really good fits but aren't hideously inappropriate like Tiger Woods and Buick. Some fits would just be bad, say Alberto Gonzales as a spokesman for the ACLU. Sometimes corporations having no sense but lots of cowardice and bail on their spokesmen. Sometimes they run from a news story and then come back-truth be dammed. Kobe lost some sponsors for a while following his rape charge. The sponsors are back.
But now Michael Phelps has lost Frosty Flakes and his Power Bar endorsement is said to be in trouble. Why? He was photographed taking a hit on a presumably marijuana bong. Whatever the legal consequences may or should be, losing these particular sponsors is strange and perverse. While athlete thugs get charged with performance enhancing drug use and continue to play, while jocks build up rap sheets of criminal complaints from domestic battery to gun charges, Phelps is flogged for marijuana?
Please. Finding a 22-year old who has not tried marijuana is like finding a cabinet nominee that has paid all his taxes and has the nanny thing under control. It is not that I'm encouraging anyone to use illegal drugs, it is just that we all know that they do. Show me a 22-yearold who says he has never tried an illegal substance and I'll show you either a friendless person or a liar.
I could actually understand Phelps losing his Speedo endorsement. Marijuana does not make you go faster. But Frosty Flakes of Power Bars? Come on. There is a completely natural tie in. "Dude, when I get the munchies and want a sugary snake, I go for Frosty Flakes." "Hey, you ever wonder how I cram in twenty-thousand calories a day? Well, I boost my appetite with a little THC and then I can stuff six Power Bars down and swim a couple of miles."
This is the perfect synergy of athlete, product and recreation. If Kellogg drops Phelps, they should be disqualified from any governmental assistance. They're just to out of touch to succeed. Hmmm. Wonder if they're stoned?
©2009 Jonathan Dobrer
www.Dobrer.org
The most serious crime here was committed by whatever governing body oversees US amateur swimming - it just banned Phelps from competition for three months. The debate over whether or not marijuana use should be made legal is not going to be resolved here; however, it's fair to say that Phelps did nothing that could possibly cause harm to another human being, nor did he do anything that would artificially inflate his athletic abilities and give him an unfair competitive advantage. Phelps did nothing to warrant any sort of ban.
Nevertheless, I'm not bothered by Kellogg and other corporations for sacking Phelps. Whether the Friendly Fire bloggers like it or not, America is still a mostly center-right country - the millions of social conservatives, turned off by illegal drug use amongst other things - are surely to blame. Corporate America is making a call, and it's coming to the conclusion that someone else, at lest for now, can better promote their products.
But don't worry too much for Michael Phelps. If footballer Ray Lewis, who might have been an accessory to murder a few years back, can make a comeback in the advertising arena, so too can Phelps.
I do not question the right of any sponsor to add or drop a celebrity. I only question their sanity--albeit somewhat ironically. To me a marijuana smoking young man is exactly who they want to use to reach the youth market. Much better (even as role models--than Gangsta Rappers.
It just seems like a natural marking marriage made in heaven. Kids with the munchies and corporations with high sugar snacks.
Cheers!
Jonathan
Yeah, I sort of wonder how Kellogg might feel after this blows over, Phelps picks up a few more medals, and then signs on with a competitor. Rather than dropping him altogether, Kellogg could have kept him under wraps for a short time while keeping him under retainer.