Ten Things that People Want to Know About the Jews but Aren't Even Afraid to Ask

The reports were all good, bad and ugly. Anti-Semitism is supposedly down nationally (good), yet it is up worldwide (bad) and has increased by seven percent in California (ugly), but this is the bonehead capitol of the country, so what can anyone expect?

So I am going to dispel ten common myths about Jews to help set things straight.

1.) Why are Jews so cheap?
We are not cheap. We happen to give more charity than any other ethnic group. Speaking of which, can I write you up for a donation?

2.) What about Bernard Madoff?
Every ethnic group has its ones that fell off the wagon. The Germans had Pope John Paul II, who seemed like a decent enough fellow, but they also spawned Hitler. You can't judge the whole barrel by a few bad apples.

3.) Why do Jews like money?
Other than hippies, have you ever met anyone who didn't like money? Money is not the root of all evil. If used properly, it is the root of all good.

4.) Why do Jews sing when they pray?
Because we like music bunch.

5.) Why do Jewish men make good husbands?
Because they were raised by Jewish women. Why else?

6.) Why are Jewish women are materialistic and demanding?
Like Paris Hilton's such a peach? Come now.

7.) The Jews run Hollywood.
In truth, Hollywood was much better when the Jews were in charge.

8.) The Jews also own the newspapers.
Another half-truth. If we did, we'd bring back a larger Sunday comics spread and expand the stock market section, too.

9.) The Jews own the banks. I only wish.

10.) Why are Jews more intelligent than everyone else? Allow me to quote Golda Meir who once said, "If the Jews are so smart, then how come we picked the only land in the Middle East that doesn't have any oil?" It does provide food for thought, now doesn't it?