Bewitching and Bothering the Pundits
Queen Witch Bratara Buzea Resists Accountability
While the world looks to the Mid East for disaster, while we fear the next threatening edict from the Iranians, while Asia quakes in anticipation of the coming irrational overblown threat from North Korea, we do not see the real danger to our way of life coming from Romania!
Yes, Romania has just passed a law more dangerous to our democracy than any fatwa or fatuous threat from the great dictators of our day. The Romanian Senate just passed a bill holding fortunetellers accountable for their predictions and threatening them with fines, or even jail, if their predictions didn't come to pass. Queen Witch, Bratara Buzea, has cast a spell on the Romanian Solons and claims it is unfair to blame witches when the fault is in the cards. No really. I have made none of this up!
Laugh if you must, but this is indeed a real story and a dangerously slippery slope. Sure they are starting with witches, Roma and gypsies, but all who know history realize that Op-Ed writers and pundits will be next.
Imagine what would happen if we were held accountable for our predictions. "Oh Mubarak will be done in 24 hours. Maliki will fall in days. Hillary will absolutely get the nomination. President McCain will..." Well, you get the idea--and it's a bad one!
All of the public soothsayers will foreswear their sooth, and there will be no programming on cable TV--except, of course, for MSNBC weekend type shows about Lesbian Prison Tattoo Artists and The Lighter Side of Self-Consuming Cannibals).
Without our bloviating, well, there would be blessed silence, perhaps thoughtful and modest communications and a definite reduction in the rate of global warming. Imagine, no more dumb predictions posited by people with no special knowledge or qualifications.
What would happen if fortunetellers, TV pundits and Op-Ed writers had our scores, like batting averages, printed next to our bylines? Like calories posted at a fast-food restaurant, with public pundit scores people would be able to see our numbers and make their judgments accordingly.
Okay, I'm convinced. There is wisdom in this Romanian ordinance. Even if it costs me money, I'll get in line and restrict my predictions. Yes, it has a chilling effect on the freedom to enunciate nonsense, still I'll go out on a limb, risking all and tell you: The Cubs will NOT win the series.
©2011Jonathan Dobrer
www.Dobrer.com
I must pass this along to my daughter who was just inducted into the Associated Daughters of Early American Witches. (Not kidding.) My 9th-level great grandmother Mary Perkins Bradbury was convicted of witchcraft at Salem in 1692, condemned to hang, but was so beloved by her neighbors that they hid her out until the insanity wore off. She died peacefuly in bed.
Thank you, Mr. Dobrer, for bringing a little levity into these days of constant demoralizing events in the news.
Keep up the good work.